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Old 05-09-2015, 11:37 AM   #701
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Old 05-09-2015, 07:22 PM   #702
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Baseball Quiz

So you think you know Baseball?, see if you can figure out this puzzle.

What is the score, inning and status?

(Answer in next post!!)
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Old 05-09-2015, 07:23 PM   #703
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Quote:
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So you think you know Baseball?, see if you can figure out this puzzle.

What is the score, inning and status?

(Answer in next post!!)
5 to 4
bottom of the 5th.
1 out and no one on! ?
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Old 05-09-2015, 07:24 PM   #704
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Baseball Quiz Answer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bacchus View Post
So you think you know Baseball?, see if you can figure out this puzzle.

What is the score, inning and status?

(Answer in next post!!)

It's 5 to 4, bottom of the fifth, one out, and nobody on....!!

Off Duty... Good job!
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Old 05-09-2015, 07:28 PM   #705
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Old 05-09-2015, 07:30 PM   #706
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Actually, it looks like 4 to 4.
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Old 05-09-2015, 07:41 PM   #707
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Old 05-10-2015, 01:13 AM   #708
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Old 05-13-2015, 08:50 PM   #709
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The Patriots Super Bowl rings are in.

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Old 05-14-2015, 02:38 AM   #710
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That's funny, Craig! But shouldn't the needle be diamond encrusted?
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Old 05-14-2015, 07:14 AM   #711
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That's funny, Craig! But shouldn't the needle be diamond encrusted?
Personally... I feel it should come with a jar of KY Jelly!

IMO - to further enliven the game of professional football:

Each team should be able to play with the ball at what ever psi air pressure they desire. Man, that could become quite interesting when one team likes the ball hard inflated and the other prefers it soft. At turn overs the team's choice of psi inflation would become then used. For items such as interceptions or defending team recovered fumble during a play's on-field actions would require the defense team players to know how to handle a ball with different psi pressure than their team normally likes to practice with and to play official game with.

Team-choice psi football inflation practice could put a whole new set of very interesting variables into playing the game of football. I might well become a game changer... to coin a phrase.

After all, football games are for the viewing public's enjoyment... and increased big corporation product sales.

This psi alteration ought to be tried out in the minor leagues, to see how it works!
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Old 05-14-2015, 12:03 PM   #712
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Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job, he hasn't even looked for a new one.

All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college years ago he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian.

What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore!

You're a Senator from New York running for President of the United States.

Act like one.
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Old 05-14-2015, 12:07 PM   #713
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The Patriots Super Bowl rings are in.

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Prediction...entire findings of Wells report will be tossed out at some point and Brady will not be penalized.
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Old 05-14-2015, 04:39 PM   #714
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The Dead Horse Theory

The Dead Horse Theory
- a very good explanation




The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that:

"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

However, in government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

And, of course...
12. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

All the above are logical reasons why we still have a Senate in government.
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Old 05-14-2015, 05:37 PM   #715
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Greetings,
Mr. mb. EXCELLENT!!! I like it. The first thing that comes to mind though is...

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Old 05-14-2015, 07:37 PM   #716
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It's true , a day without an anchor reference is like a day without sunshine.
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Old 05-15-2015, 12:33 PM   #717
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FW: A GREAT WEEKEND!
Dale Nichols 7:44 AM Flag this message Photos
To: Dick Johanson, gofirstclass@hotmail.com, denmor@charter.net, 'Richard Garretson'
dealerdale@dwwireless.net
A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake in Florida , walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There's no money in that account.'

'I know,' said the old man,

'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'

You see, not all seniors are senile.
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Old 05-21-2015, 10:20 AM   #718
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Old 05-21-2015, 05:04 PM   #719
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Jacob, aged 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, living in Miami, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.
Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course, we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The Works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: "Sure."
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.

Ted
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Old 05-21-2015, 05:09 PM   #720
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A Retired Person's Perspective:

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.


2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.


3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably ticked off.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.


5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.


6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.



7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.


8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what 's your plan?


10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.



Ted
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I want to spend some time, Not come and go in a heated rush.....
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