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Old 01-17-2015, 01:53 PM   #641
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Here's a repost of post #629 with a better link.....my bad!

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Old 01-17-2015, 03:25 PM   #642
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I have Tech Support looking into it but none of the affected posts seemed to have used the "manage attachments" function to load the images.
We are still going to have the techies follow up but the illegible posts seem to have been caused by bad links to the images. There are many ways to add images to a post but using the manage attachments function is the single most reliable way for future reference.
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Old 01-17-2015, 04:50 PM   #643
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Old 01-20-2015, 07:42 PM   #644
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Old 01-20-2015, 08:11 PM   #645
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You're getting too funny - RT!
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Old 02-01-2015, 08:50 AM   #646
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Skinny little Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'
The little Irishman faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down, shakes him, and brings him to.
The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'Its what you said to me!'
The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me......... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.'

The little Irishman says: 'Turner Brown'?!.... Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around."
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Old 02-01-2015, 09:33 AM   #647
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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
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Old 02-01-2015, 10:57 AM   #648
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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
And with that one must listen again to Andy Griffith's, "What it was was football."

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Old 02-01-2015, 05:38 PM   #649
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Blonde cooking in her kitchen when all of sudden the stove bursts into flames.

She calls the fire department.

"Help me, help me, I have a terrible fire in my kitchen!"

"OK lady, we will be right along. How do we get there?"

She responds "Duh....big red truck!"
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Old 02-02-2015, 01:18 PM   #650
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An old man goes into a drug store to buy Viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets cut in quarters"?
"I can cut them for you", said Dan the Pharmacist.
"But a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
"I'm 96", said the man. "I don't want a full erection.
I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers."
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I'm tired of fast moves, I've got a slow groove, on my mind.....
I want to spend some time, Not come and go in a heated rush.....
"Slow Hand" by The Pointer Sisters
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Old 02-02-2015, 01:24 PM   #651
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Research shows there are SEVEN kinds of sex

The 1st kind of sex is called Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the Hallway you say, 'Screw You'.

The 5th kind of sex is called Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in the morning. Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night... Very Popular

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot tolerate your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last but not least,

The 7th kind of sex is called Canada Pension Sex. You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.
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Old 02-02-2015, 04:40 PM   #652
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Research shows there are SEVEN kinds of sex

The 1st kind of sex is called Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the Hallway you say, 'Screw You'.

The 5th kind of sex is called Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in the morning. Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night... Very Popular

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot tolerate your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last but not least,

The 7th kind of sex is called Canada Pension Sex. You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.
Wifey B: Omg and I thought I was a sexpert. But we only have 2 of 7 kinds....but they're the best two.
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Old 02-02-2015, 05:37 PM   #653
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To have best sex every time and often too:

1.Learn to touch
2.Learn to talk while touching
3.Learn to cooperatively-create “interesting sex plays” while touching and talking
4.Learn to be able to make the “plays” turn into a fun series of action events while touching and talking
5.Learn to have each play’s action event series help the outcum turn into cooperatively produced explosions while touching and talking
6.Then get the hell out of that eight week sex class and fully teach your spouse… by having minimum of three two hour sessions per week!



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Old 02-03-2015, 08:04 PM   #654
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Old, raunchy, political joke

When Hillary left the State Dept. she was asked what her future plans are.

She answered, "to go to New York and be a model".

She was then asked, "what are you going to do about that big ass of yours".

She replied, "Oh Bill, he's going back to Arkansas".
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Old 02-04-2015, 07:30 AM   #655
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DIVORCE

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of
the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."

"Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce.
My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
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Old 02-04-2015, 08:08 AM   #656
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Planning World War III

WORLD WAR III
IN THE PLANNING STAGES

Former President Bush and VP Cheney are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman,
'Isn't that Bush and Cheney sitting over there?'

The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.'


So the guy walks over and says,
'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?'


Bush says, 'We're planning WW III.'
The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'


Cheney says, 'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big boobs.'


The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big boobs?'

Cheney turns to Bush and says,
'See, I told you, no one gives a crap about the 140 million Muslims.
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Old 02-04-2015, 08:40 AM   #657
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Mickey Mouse goes to see his lawyer about getting a divorce.
Lawyer tells Mickey that he shouldn't divorce Minnie because she's a little crazy.
Mickey responds that she's not crazy, she's f*cking Goofy.
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Old 02-04-2015, 12:02 PM   #658
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Herding Cats.....!!!

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Old 02-04-2015, 03:32 PM   #659
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Subject: When love fades

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV.
When I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen ask...
"What would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, Beef or Lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, dear, I think I'll have chicken."
She replied , "You're having soup, axxhole. I was talking to the dog!"
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Old 02-05-2015, 10:21 PM   #660
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