For the flyers among us...
1 Try to*stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance* of* ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much* more difficult to
fly in the edges.
The difference between a duck* and a co-pilot? The duck can fly.
It's better to break ground and head* into the wind than to break wind and
head into the ground.
A check* ride ought to be like a skirt short enough to be interesting, but
long* enough to cover everything.
Speed is life.* Altitude is life* insurance.
It only takes two things to fly:* airspeed, and* money.
If it's ugly, it's British.
If* it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's* Russian.
Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very* expensive flying
The three best things in life are a good* landing, a good orgasm, and a good
bowel movement.* A night carrier* landing is one of the few opportunities to
experience all three at the same* time.
The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If* a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot* dies.
The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that* the
engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.
New FAA* motto: "We're not happy, till you're not happy."
If something hasn't* broken on your helicopter--it's about to.
I give that landing a 9 . . .* on the Richter scale.
The three most dangerous things in aviation:
A* Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna.
Two captains in a DC-9.
A flight* attendant with a chipped tooth.
Unknown landing signal officer to* carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful
landing attempt: "You've got to* land here son. This is where the food* is.