Dog Died. What next?

[Ben]

Must be the full moon (my excuse), but I really do miss my big dog. The little one is mama's and I love her, but you can't quite wrastle around on the floor with the little one (the dog, not mama) the same way.

The little one Maddie has been mopey and sluggish since Marley died.

 

[Off Duty]

This always sounds silly when I say it, but I often wish I could be as single-mindedly devoted to God as my dog is devoted to me.

Nothing silly about that friend.
Dogs are IMO, one of, if not "the" most dedicated pets on earth!
Simple, loving, and totally devoted.

 

[bligh]

I lost my dog about 10 years ago. It was very painful. But very shortly afterwards I went to the animal shelter and got another one. It may seem a bit shallow, but having the new dog turned out to be the cure for me and I was able to keep a dog from being put down.

 

[texasnielsen]

OP,
So very sorry to hear of your loss. I've always held that some animals make good pets (cats, lizards, gerbals, etc). Others make good companions (DOGS!). To lose a pet is painful; to lose a companion - heartbreaking. As others have posted, you may never replace your Marley, but there is another companion waiting to be discovered by you when your heart is ready. We personally lost a yellow lab to ovarian cancer and the family was crushed and devastated. After a while (gallons of tears) we were ready to not find a replacement, but to offer another companion a home. We used http://petfinders.com and "Scotch" found us.... lots of shelters and rescues use this site to place animals in to loving homes.

 

[Ben]

All -

Thanks for all your expressions of empathy and comfort. It's impossible for me to express how comforting that has been to me personally. It's been a hard month, but with a good bit of healing. Losing Marley has been a shock and a void in our family life. Today is one month exactly.

Two days ago the Admiral and I got the kids together, now 15 and 20, and scattered Marley's ashes in the Cape Fear River. Tromping around in the marshes was one of his most favorite things, so it fits. The girls were 7 and 12 when we got him, so he's grown up with them, making his death a sad milestone for the family and a reminder of the passage of time. Marley was an SPCA dog, so we were very happy to have provided a home to this once unwanted animal.

Anyway, time to move on now. We're looking at dogs, but not for a dog just yet. We found these guys a few miles from us. Looks like a good outfit.

Ruf Creek Ranch Animal Rescue/K-9 College and Adoption Center - Home

Merry Christmas to all! Fair winds and safe cruising!

 

[hmason]

Hi Ben,

Just in case you've never seen this--it helped when we lost our beloved Oliver and our special Norma Jean. We hope you heal quickly. Howard and Jackie


Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

 

[Ben]

Hi Mason,

Thank you. I really liked that poem.

When we spread Marley's ashes in the Cape Fear, I read this to my wife and kids, all present. It pretty much sums up how we feel about our dogs we've had...

A Dog’s Last Will & Testament
​

Before humans die, they write their last will and testament, giving their home and all they have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I’d ask…

To a poor and lonely stray I’d give my happy home; my bowl and cozy bed, soft pillow and all my toys; the lap, which I loved so much; the hand that stroked my fur; and the sweet voice that spoke my name.

I’d will to the sad, scared shelter dog the place I had in m human’s loving heart, of which there seemed no bounds.

So, when I die, please do not say, “I will never have a pet again, for the loss and the pain is more than I can stand.”

Instead, go find an unloved dog, one whose life has held no joy or hope, and give my place to him.

This is the only thing I can give…
The love I left behind.​

Our two retrievers over 20 years have been SPCA dogs. Probably the next will be a rescue or similar adoption. Thanks again for the poem and thoughts.

Ben

 

[hmason]

Very nice and good advice. We got a puppy within weeks of losing Oliver. We knew he would want us to.

 

[Ben]

Epilogue to this story.

We spread Marley's ashes in the Cape Fear River over Christmas. One of my daughters went to a counseling session and identified "Marley's death" as the key thing that was bothering her, and my wife and I actually had the conversation "should we see someone?" about Marley's passing. I could never have imagined the death of a pet as being so emotionally draining. Anyone who knows our family knows we are pretty much "dog people". I personally don't think I can separate my personality from what I have learned from my dogs over the years. If I were a clinical psychologist, I'd want to examine that, but I have another profession.

Well, we started "looking at dogs" again, but not "looking for a dog" with maybe getting one "down the road". So happens a cousin of my wife, her dog had puppies, Lab-Golden mix. We claimed one, to get once he was old enough. Well, we re-visited after 6 weeks, and all his litter mates were scooped up. So, after some hemming and hawing over early puppy separation, we picked up our new dog "Beaufort".

So, it begins all over again. We got him checked out at the vet, have babied the crap out of him, and annoyed family and friends alike with an excess of cute puppy pictures and cute puppy videos on Facebook. My daughters, though one adult and one adolescent, are cooing over him like 5-year-olds again. Yes, we are a big dog family again.

Now, I am going to annoy all my virtual trawler friends with cute puppy pics for a while. He's got a long way until he's water-ready, but summer is still a ways off. So enjoy and be annoyed, introducing Beaufort...

 

[BandB]

I think it's very honorable and shows a lot about a person to mourn the loss of a pet. Be glad you had such an attachment and that you have that ability to feel so strongly within you. Experience says the right time generally comes for the next dog, not a replacement, but a new companion and friend, and that you can't guess ahead when that time will come. It just happens.

As sad as it is to read of those of you who have lost your pets, it is also very powerful and good to read the true raw emotions of love, of loss, of grief. It's natural, it's real, and it's honest. The pain comes through in the posts but the love and caring comes through even more.

 

[CPseudonym]

Ben,

The ultimate salve for the loss of a beloved dog is puppy breath.

 

[Tom.B]

annoyed family and friends alike with an excess of cute puppy pictures and cute puppy videos on Facebook.

True story. :-D

 

[cafesport]

Epilogue to this story. We spread Marley's ashes in the Cape Fear River over Christmas. One of my daughters went to a counseling session and identified "Marley's death" as the key thing that was bothering her, and my wife and I actually had the conversation "should we see someone?" about Marley's passing. I could never have imagined the death of a pet as being so emotionally draining. Anyone who knows our family knows we are pretty much "dog people". I personally don't think I can separate my personality from what I have learned from my dogs over the years. If I were a clinical psychologist, I'd want to examine that, but I have another profession. Well, we started "looking at dogs" again, but not "looking for a dog" with maybe getting one "down the road". So happens a cousin of my wife, her dog had puppies, Lab-Golden mix. We claimed one, to get once he was old enough. Well, we re-visited after 6 weeks, and all his litter mates were scooped up. So, after some hemming and hawing over early puppy separation, we picked up our new dog "Beaufort". So, it begins all over again. We got him checked out at the vet, have babied the crap out of him, and annoyed family and friends alike with an excess of cute puppy pictures and cute puppy videos on Facebook. My daughters, though one adult and one adolescent, are cooing over him like 5-year-olds again. Yes, we are a big dog family again. Now, I am going to annoy all my virtual trawler friends with cute puppy pics for a while. He's got a long way until he's water-ready, but summer is still a ways off. So enjoy and be annoyed, introducing Beaufort...

Sorry for your loss. It's part of life and there is always a lesson hidden below the surface. Sounds like you found it. Embrace it and put one foot in front of the other. More pics!

Via iPad using Trawler

 

[Steve]

I'll bet Marley is happy with your decision!