twistedtree
Guru
The issue with starting and stopping under load, as I understand it, is overload on the voltage regulator. During the spin up and spin down, the regulator is trying desperately to maintain voltage even though it's impossible to do so. Enough of this stress can ultimately cause failure of the regulator. It will be very dependent on load, and the exact regulator design.
The DynaGen AGS referenced earlier has an output signal indicating it's OK to apply load. That can control a contactor of sufficient capacity for your generator. When you press the Start button on the controller, it starts the gen, runs for a programmed warm up time, then signals that load can be applied. When you press the Stop button on the controller, it sheds the loads, runs for a programmed cool down time, then shuts down the gen.
The DynaGen AGS referenced earlier has an output signal indicating it's OK to apply load. That can control a contactor of sufficient capacity for your generator. When you press the Start button on the controller, it starts the gen, runs for a programmed warm up time, then signals that load can be applied. When you press the Stop button on the controller, it sheds the loads, runs for a programmed cool down time, then shuts down the gen.