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Old 03-26-2014, 06:45 PM   #21
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We start our 12th year next week. The information and suggestions you've gotten already have been excellent. But here are a couple extra to help create a happy environment for doing more than just a delivery of the boat to Marco Island:

- Get your wife involved with the destination planning. Typically, you'll be the one figuring out how to get from point A to point B. Let her decide what A and B are. It'll make the trip more enjoyable for both of you.

- Never give up an opportunity to meet and hang out with other boaters. It's not about the sunsets, anchorages, or ICW. It's about the people. The ones who connect with lots of other boaters last a long time. The ones who don't often sell their boats sooner.

- As you've heard and will hear many times, never have a schedule. But it goes deeper than that. If the weather is getting worse, stay put. If you like a place, stay longer - weekly and monthly slips are way less expensive than daily transient rates.


It's all a wonderful experience. Just make sure it's all fun and not a hard-moving delivery.
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Old 03-26-2014, 07:15 PM   #22
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- Get your wife involved with the destination planning. Typically, you'll be the one figuring out how to get from point A to point B. Let her decide what A and B are. It'll make the trip more enjoyable for both of you.
Jeff, Was just thing the same thing about involving my wife! "Can't miss!", Chief Listener!

PS: I want to get the Navionics app but since inavx interfaces with AC I'll probably be buying that. Agree?
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Old 03-26-2014, 10:05 PM   #23
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Primer For 1st Timers Heading South on The ICW
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Old 03-26-2014, 10:20 PM   #24
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ICW trip was the best 4.5 months we have ever had together; Baltimore to Marathon & back. 1. Know your boat & systems. 2. Have a plan, but not necessarily a schedule. 3. Be flexible. Use all your stuff; charts, guides, Active Captain, fellow boaters, etc. 4. There is some work involved; share with the crew, and above all, enjoy the trip!
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Old 03-26-2014, 10:53 PM   #25
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Should be a great trip... please post your own "tips" as you journey south.. you and the 1st mate will also be old salts long before this trip is complete...
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:04 PM   #26
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My best tip would be to take your time. There are LOTS of places that are just a few hours apart. Especially in the NC/SC area. Belhaven, Oriental, New Bern, Morehead City, Beaufort (NC), Cape Lookout, Swansboro, Topsail Beach, Wrightsville Beach, Carolina Beach, Southport, Bald Head Island... The list goes on and on. When you get here, spend some time at all of them. Don't skip past them because you could steam further that day if you skip one. At the VERY least, plan to do half one way and half the other, because THIS area in particular, is rich with history and amazing people and places.

Jeff overlooked a second and most important point in his "people" advice (which is spot on). But while you are making great boating friends along the way, THEY are THE ONES that will have ALL the best info and all the low-down on where to go and what to do in the ports that lie ahead. Collect it!! :-)
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:15 PM   #27
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I want to get the Navionics app but since inavx interfaces with AC I'll probably be buying that. Agree?
No, I don't agree. There are 5-6 apps for iOS that support ActiveCaptain. They're listed here:
https://activecaptain.com/navProducts.php

See the iOS section.
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Old 03-27-2014, 06:34 AM   #28
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If you are an anchor out cruiser ,from as far north as Maine to Daytona Beach it is possible to avoid marinas.

There are many places that are worth the bother and expense , like Charlston, always worth a visit.

I lived aboard for almost 23 years , so to me its not a vacation day unless I am out of the throng.

YRMV,
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Old 03-27-2014, 07:54 AM   #29
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I'll give you tips that nobody has posted yet:

You'll need a way to pay bills. For me online banking and a Verizon Hot Spot for Internet connection works. For many bills you can read them online. Utilities may offer a level payment plan so your bill is the same each month. Or you can just pay extra and they will credit your account.

You'll need someone to watch over your house bring in mail and packages, and mow the lawn. A timer on some lights may make people think someone is home.

If you post your progress on Facebook or other social media, you are telling the world that nobody is home at your house and won't be for weeks. Think about it.
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Old 03-27-2014, 09:16 AM   #30
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- Get your wife involved with the destination planning. Typically, you'll be the one figuring out how to get from point A to point B. Let her decide what A and B are. It'll make the trip more enjoyable for both of you.
.
Wifey B: Close but no prize. Sorry, AC and I do adore you and your product. But, it's still made to sound like the stereotype of hubby over wife in being the lead, of Captain and Admiral. Even better if you're like we are, both equally share the passion for boating. We figure it out together. We both went to Maritime school and have gotten Captain's licenses. We both look at the how and the wherefore. We both lay in bed pulling up things we'd like to see along the way on our tablets and talking about marinas. Yes, like all relationships we both have those areas in which we may take the lead but when it comes to our boating, we both share the love in every way. Selecting boats, the compromises there, both and equal. Tenders, both and equal. Taking the helm, both and equal. Equal in meal decisions and in preparation although different in what we might prepare. We are stereotypical in his love for grilling and me doing the salads or fancy dishes. Equal in which of us calls the bridge tender or the dock master.

The desire to be on the water is one we've shared for years. When we lived on an inland lake, either of us was equally likely to want to hit the water for a couple of hours after a tough day at work. Now I was the one more likely to invite friends to join us on a Saturday, simply because I'm more outgoing. But I hope for each of you the passion is shared. It may surprise you if you fully open up to that. Don't think stereotypes and let that limit you. Heck, who knows, she might be the one who cleans the Racor underway.

Besides, maybe you're not even a male and female. Yes, two girls or two dudes can enjoy boating. Whether in a relationship or just friends. Right now our two best friends, both girls, are going to Maritime school and planning on a boat, mostly for when we're not around, as they still work. Now they aren't a couple as such, but like to spend time together on weekends. And the fact there won't be a dude along isn't going to slow them down one bit. I know two older guys who spend most of their time together on a trawler. They both lost their wives to illness. The four of them were cruising buddies. Both thought those days were over when they lost their spouses but instead it makes them even feel closer to their lost ones.

So just a reminder, boating is for everyone. And what AC said about getting your wife involved, just change that a little to sharing the passion. Let the roles of each just happen. Don't just bring her in on the decisions. Let her be an equal part from the offset. Then when you go shopping to upgrade your boat, you might be surprised that she's the one who says, "I don't like the layout and space of this engine room."

Boating is something that can be loved by those of all ages, irrespective of sex, doesn't matter where you're from. Really, no boundaries.
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Old 03-27-2014, 09:32 AM   #31
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Yeah, it was a generalization. I'm sorry if that offended anyone. It's true for 85% of the couples we've been in contact with - you surely know exactly how rare your relationship is if your wife is the one replacing Racor elements. And since just about every piece of advice in the thread was male oriented, I think my suggestion about getting the wife involved is the right one.
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Old 03-27-2014, 10:14 AM   #32
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I think it's best to find the level of involvement that your partner is comfortable with and work from there. Every relationship is different.
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Old 03-27-2014, 10:48 AM   #33
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I think it's best to find the level of involvement that your partner is comfortable with and work from there. Every relationship is different.
Certainly cannot argue with that.
One of our goals this season is to have my wife learn to operate in close quarters and dock the boat. Never know when she might HAVE to do it. For many reasons, it's just good policy.

Learning this and getting over the natural intimidation has been most rewarding for me. Heck, the first few times I went out I spent most of the time fretting about getting her back docked, safe and sound!

I was trained by the gent who sold us the boat, "in docking, you'll be in neutral about 80% of the time". Great advice and true, as far as I'm concerned.

It's very much like nervousness that a new golfer gets when approaching the 1st tee. Soon, one doesn't even think about it…much.
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Old 03-27-2014, 11:15 AM   #34
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Yeah, it was a generalization. I'm sorry if that offended anyone. It's true for 85% of the couples we've been in contact with - you surely know exactly how rare your relationship is if your wife is the one replacing Racor elements. And since just about every piece of advice in the thread was male oriented, I think my suggestion about getting the wife involved is the right one.
Wifey B:

Totally agree with you on the wifey involved but just think people fall victim to the stereotypes and assume. And if they're able to get spouse to embrace equally then things will be even better.

And we have captains training us and they're tough and one of the first things we were both forced to do was learn our way around fuel filters. Now we're neither one mechanical and not going to ever work on our own engines, but the biggest problem people encounter that strands them is fuel. Actually he likes getting his hands dirty more than I do. So he was the one pulling out the gloves first.

Also burden on wife. If you want to equally participate then learn and do. At least learn what you can in case you ever have to do things. What if hubby gets hurt or sick while you're out cruising? Plus it's fun. Fun fun fun. Did I say "Fun"? hehe. Seriously, fun to equally participate. And fun to just know you can do it. Right now only a 100 Ton Inland Master but well on my way to 200 Ton Near Coastal. I love the water and boating and I want to learn more and more and more.
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Old 03-27-2014, 11:24 AM   #35
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I think it's best to find the level of involvement that your partner is comfortable with and work from there. Every relationship is different.
Wifey B: Absolutely, but don't assume. Don't let the stereotypes victimize you. Nothing wrong with whatever works. I'll tell you one other thing that is gained by wife, or both for that matter, learning more. If conditions get rough, unexpected conditions you wouldn't normally go out in. Actually being at the helm, dealing with them, learning you can and the boat can handle it, is very reassuring. A lot less frightening than a passenger, which feels a bit helpless. A lot of wives over the years after one bad crossing somewhere who have decided it's not for them. Maybe if they'd realized that while it was uncomfortable as all heck, they really weren't in danger or out of control.

I sure like 2-3 ft conditions like we have today. But having been at the helm and controlled the boat in worse conditions sure made me smile afterwards, knowing both my capabilities and the boats. First time we encountered them, we had the chance to dodge out of it but we chose with Captains to learn, still knowing we could quickly get to shore. I remember still at the end of that day how exhausted but how thrilled I was. We weren't ever exposed to danger but we sure learned how to handle rougher conditions with waves from various directions. And, no, it didn't make me foolhearty, just more comfortable with the "what if's."
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Old 03-27-2014, 12:22 PM   #36
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Certainly cannot argue with that.
One of our goals this season is to have my wife learn to operate in close quarters and dock the boat. Never know when she might HAVE to do it. For many reasons, it's just good policy.
My wife and I have given seminars on Medical Emergencies Onboard for the last 5-6 year at various rendezvous, shows, etc. We're both EMTs and have been on hundreds of ambulance calls, many involving boats in our coast town. The ability for your wife to keep your boat operating safely while difficult situations are potentially happening might very make the difference in whether you live or die. It's not an exaggeration - there was just a recent event of a guy suffering a stroke and his wife was unable to take the boat out of autopilot. Operating all parts of boat movement are critically important.
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Old 03-27-2014, 12:28 PM   #37
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Yeah, it was a generalization. I'm sorry if that offended anyone. It's true for 85% of the couples we've been in contact with - you surely know exactly how rare your relationship is if your wife is the one replacing Racor elements. And since just about every piece of advice in the thread was male oriented, I think my suggestion about getting the wife involved is the right one.
You didn't offend me. I drive the boat and check the oil. My wife is responsible for everything else. She even checks my wallet occasionally to make sure I have a few bucks. I figure I've got a pretty good deal

I'm not allowed to play with the cheque book .... last time I was, I bought a boat.
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Old 03-27-2014, 12:38 PM   #38
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We have gotten fresh shrimp, right off the boats in Georgetown, SC, on every trip up and down the AICW. We anchor, launch the dinghy, buy shrimp and get out of Dodge as the Admiral can't stand the smell of the paper mill.
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Old 03-27-2014, 12:49 PM   #39
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My wife and I have given seminars on Medical Emergencies Onboard for the last 5-6 year at various rendezvous, shows, etc. We're both EMTs and have been on hundreds of ambulance calls, many involving boats in our coast town. The ability for your wife to keep your boat operating safely while difficult situations are potentially happening might very make the difference in whether you live or die. It's not an exaggeration - there was just a recent event of a guy suffering a stroke and his wife was unable to take the boat out of autopilot. Operating all parts of boat movement are critically important.
That is a scary situation. Yet, many times people take boats out single handed. Still, being there and being helpless would be terrifying. Prior to living on the coast and boating offshore, neither of us had ever taken any first aid courses even, no CPR, nothing. But we have since, including taking "Medical First Aid, then a 3 day course, "Medical First Aid Provider" and we are going to take this month the 7 day course, "Medical Person in Charge." It is probably more than necessary, but it only takes one medical emergency when you're hours from any hospital or professional medical care to make it worthwhile. It's like an insurance policy you hope you never need to use. When we decided to make boating such a large part of our lives, we decided it was time to learn things like this. Learning how to handle a fire is on the agenda too.

At the very least train a person in just basically knowing how to engage the engines, steer, and to use the radio and know who to contact.

We were use to being in a car or home, EMT's quickly available, roadside assistance if you had problems with the car, could get out and walk. Well, boating does mean some extra knowledge was needed. Hope we never need it.
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Old 03-27-2014, 01:48 PM   #40
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Still, being there and being helpless would be terrifying.
I've got to add two points without hijacking the thread of this subject that's near to my heart.

1. It's not just terrifying. When something medically significant happens to one party onboard, life is on the line. But it might not just be the life of the person having the medical event. In too many situations, the actions of the remaining person(s) will put their own life at risk. In the previous example of the woman left unable to take the boat out of autopilot, her life was in significant danger even though she was not having the medical emergency.

2. In a real medical emergency, the healthy party will never be docking the boat. It takes too long. I've been on many calls where we jump onto a fire boat and zip to the boat-in-need at 30 knots to give treatment while underway. In many situations, waiting to dock the boat is a death sentence. Instead, make sure the training/experience is on keeping the boat safe and secure while underway - or sitting by in a safe way/anchoring or whatever else would allow help to come to you. Many partners feel very nervous about docking a larger boat like the trawlers we drive. Give that time - it's much more important for all to know how to operate all underway systems to keep the boat in safe water.


...and take a CPR course.
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