Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 02-02-2016, 04:37 PM   #21
KMA
Senior Member
 
City: Merritt Island
Country: U.S.
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 471
There were often raised voices on our boat whilst docking, with good reason. My Mate has hearing issues (sometimes selective, most often not ) that necessitated some volume on occasion. The physical infirmities (hers & mine) are part of what's holding me back buying another boat. I'd hate to get into it, and find there are things we just can't do that we need to do, since we're no longer rolling in cash to pay others to do them.
__________________
Advertisement

KMA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2016, 07:16 PM   #22
Guru
 
psneeld's Avatar
 
City: Avalon, NJ
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Freedom
Vessel Model: Albin 40
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 15,937
There are lots of reasons for people to do things that others don't understand.


TF has some people that just don't think that concept through.


Thus my thread on perfection...it's just proving my point.
__________________

psneeld is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2016, 08:10 PM   #23
Guru
 
O C Diver's Avatar
 
City: Fort Myers, FL... Summers in Crisfield, MD
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Slow Hand
Vessel Model: Cherubini Independence 45
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4,823
Quote:
Originally Posted by O C Diver View Post
You see all sorts of different relationships on the water between husband and wife. Each couple needs to work out what's best for them. What drives me crazy is when one is yelling at the other. Each is doing the best they can. How does yelling help?

Ted
Maybe I should have been more clear, it's not the volume as much as what's being said for everyone else to here. Just don't get the need for the verbal abuse. Listened to a guy calling his wife a "stupid f###ing b#ch" in front of 20 people on my dock this summer. Apparently she missed a dock line when they were leaving. Not the first time he's said stuff like that. Feel sorry for her.

Ted
__________________
Blog: mvslowhand.com
I'm tired of fast moves, I've got a slow groove, on my mind.....
I want to spend some time, Not come and go in a heated rush.....
"Slow Hand" by The Pointer Sisters
O C Diver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2016, 08:40 PM   #24
Guru
 
psneeld's Avatar
 
City: Avalon, NJ
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Freedom
Vessel Model: Albin 40
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 15,937
Quote:
Originally Posted by O C Diver View Post
Maybe I should have been more clear, it's not the volume as much as what's being said for everyone else to here. Just don't get the need for the verbal abuse. Listened to a guy calling his wife a "stupid f###ing b#ch" in front of 20 people on my dock this summer. Apparently she missed a dock line when they were leaving. Not the first time he's said stuff like that. Feel sorry for her.

Ted
I would and have on many occasion have assisted when/if asked when that happens...then offered advice or future instruction. If the guy wasn't apologetic to the wife and if he was totally, blatantly, and publicly abusive...then I would just embarrass the shi* out of him in front of her about his performance.

Pretty easy standing there in the Assistance towing shirt and the rest of the marina basically standing behind me.

Loud I can see...abusive not. And that is true in just about every leadership situation I have ever experienced or could even fathom.
psneeld is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2016, 08:45 PM   #25
Enigma
 
RT Firefly's Avatar
 
City: Slicker?
Country: Bumpkin?
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,997
Greetings,
Missed a dock line? Hey, life's too short. Sounds like THAT bozo is going to be soloing in the near future.
__________________
RTF
RT Firefly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2016, 08:57 PM   #26
Guru
 
BandB's Avatar
 
City: Fort Lauderdale
Country: USA
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 13,185
Quote:
Originally Posted by psneeld View Post
I would and have on many occasion have assisted when/if asked when that happens...then offered advice or future instruction. If the guy wasn't apologetic to the wife and if he was totally, blatantly, and publicly abusive...then I would just embarrass the shi* out of him in front of her about his performance.

Pretty easy standing there in the Assistance towing shirt and the rest of the marina basically standing behind me.

Loud I can see...abusive not. And that is true in just about every leadership situation I have ever experienced or could even fathom.
I agree with you on abusiveness and rest assured if he'll do that in public, he'll do far worse in private.
BandB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2016, 09:02 PM   #27
Guru
 
psneeld's Avatar
 
City: Avalon, NJ
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Freedom
Vessel Model: Albin 40
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 15,937
Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB View Post
I agree with you on abusiveness and rest assured if he'll do that in public, he'll do far worse in private.
You can't say that any more than the opposite...which is sorta my earlier point. Believe me I have lived it more than once.

You never know what goes on in the privacy of one's home and who really starts what or pushes what buttons...so best if you don't speculate and just address what you witness.

It may help or hurt in the long run...but I am likely not gonna change it either way and really don't have the right to pry any further....well certainly at a marina unless there is WAY more to the story that I have witnessed.
psneeld is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2016, 11:15 PM   #28
Guru
 
kthoennes's Avatar
 
City: Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Xanadu
Vessel Model: Mainship 37 Motor Yacht
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 857
Boy, if I treated my wife badly on the boat she'd simply never go boating with me again, end of story. I don't get why some wives put up with it, but we've probably all seen it happen. My wife and I do have very different roles, she really doesn't like to drive, etc., but the division of labor seems to work well. I'm pretty proud of her -- she's learned to throw dock lines like a major league baseball pitcher. Still makes me laugh, we came into Essex Island Marina in Connecticut one very windy day last summer. A couple of very helpful, 20-something dock hands were there to help us tie up. One of them reached his arms way out wide and leaned forward anticipating my wife was going to give him a wimpy, throw-like-a-girl line toss that would probably land in the water. Instead she nailed him square in the sternum with a couple coils. Didn't hurt him of course but you could tell he was surprised and it was fun to watch.

Actually, now that I think of it, the only time I yell or bark at my wife is when she's handling lines on the swim step as we come in or go out and she doesn't answer me. I can't see down there from the helm and I'm always worried she's fallen off and getting chopped up in the props. If I call down with something like, "Heidi, everything look good?" and she doesn't answer immediately, I imagine the worst and then I do bark for an answer.
kthoennes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 12:09 AM   #29
Guru
 
BandB's Avatar
 
City: Fort Lauderdale
Country: USA
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 13,185
Quote:
Originally Posted by kthoennes View Post
I don't get why some wives put up with it, but we've probably all seen it happen. .
Wifey B: I don't get why husbands or wives or any people put up with abuse. Yet, many do. I just wanted to make it clear that verbal abuse doesn't just go one way. People make a lot of excuses for the abuser or for themselves.
BandB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 07:51 AM   #30
omc
Senior Member
 
omc's Avatar
 
City: Antibes
Country: France
Vessel Name: LUTIN
Vessel Model: Grand Banks 42' Motor Yacht
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 480
2 ways radio

I have bought 3 x 2 ways radios UHF band, what we are using when difficult docking or anchoring. Very convenient, quiet and productive communication between fly bridge and decks, safer especially at night. Only USD 15 for each with wall charger included, Amazon.fr.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	image.jpg
Views:	93
Size:	61.2 KB
ID:	48525  
__________________
Olivier
omc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 08:01 AM   #31
Guru
 
psneeld's Avatar
 
City: Avalon, NJ
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Freedom
Vessel Model: Albin 40
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 15,937
from my experience...hands free and duplex comms are best when the most necessary (usually when skippers are accused of shouting).
psneeld is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 08:08 AM   #32
FF
Guru
 
FF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 16,537
"(usually when skippers are accused of shouting)."

The richer ones don't shout, they scream into the Loud Haler!
FF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 08:09 AM   #33
omc
Senior Member
 
omc's Avatar
 
City: Antibes
Country: France
Vessel Name: LUTIN
Vessel Model: Grand Banks 42' Motor Yacht
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 480
I forgot to say ours are hand free (voice prompt, so no need to push to talk) and duplex as well.
__________________
Olivier
omc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 08:12 AM   #34
TF Site Team
 
dimer2's Avatar
 
City: Houston
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Baobab
Vessel Model: Bayliner 4788
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,195
If I ever yelled, that would be the end of whatever maneuver we were attempting to accomplish, as 50% of our 2 man team would immediately mutiny and be en route to the flying bridge, probably brandishing a boat hook!
__________________
No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others.
dimer2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 08:22 AM   #35
Guru
 
psneeld's Avatar
 
City: Avalon, NJ
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Freedom
Vessel Model: Albin 40
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 15,937
Quote:
Originally Posted by omc View Post
I forgot to say ours are hand free (voice prompt, so no need to push to talk) and duplex as well.
psneeld is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 09:51 AM   #36
Dauntless Award
 
Wxx3's Avatar
 
City: New York, NY
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Dauntless
Vessel Model: Kadey Krogen 42 - 148
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pgitug View Post
During our careers it is our wives that are the first to give it up and fill in the gaps. After retirement it seems to me that this should be the time to give them extra courtesies, no longer treat them like the anode of the relationship.
But all too often I see captains treat them like hired crew w/o pay. And we wonder why so many wives are not interested in long range boating.
We were coming back home from a trip up the east coast, cutting across Lake Ockeechobee, and followed this Sabre with a fly bridge through a couple locks. The woman on board grabbed both bow and stern lines. Then as the water level dropped she ran back and forth giving slack to the two lines while the "Captain" sat on his fat ass.
For eight years we had a 41 foot sailboat and now have a 37 tug. She catches one line and I catch the other. Unless your an inexperienced captain, catching one of the lines is easy and only makes sense.
I think a little gratefulness, courtesy and kindness to our mates goes a long way towards having a safe, fun and successful voyage.
This is not a boating issue, but rather a cultural one.
In every aspect of life one sees these examples.
__________________
M/Y Dauntless, New York
a Kadey Krogen 42 Currently https://share.delorme.com/dauntless
Blog: https://dauntlessatsea.com
Find us: https://share.delorme.com/dauntless
Wxx3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 11:10 AM   #37
FF
Guru
 
FF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 16,537
"immediately mutiny and be en route to the flying bridge, probably brandishing a boat hook!"

Experienced crew would bring a belaying pin!
FF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 12:47 PM   #38
Senior Member
 
ragin cajun's Avatar
 
City: Lafayette, LA
Country: USA
Vessel Name: presently boatless
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 267
Quote:
Originally Posted by dimer2 View Post
If I ever yelled, that would be the end of whatever maneuver we were attempting to accomplish, as 50% of our 2 man team would immediately mutiny and be en route to the flying bridge, probably brandishing a boat hook!
In my case, this ^ would be followed by a FOR SALE sign mounted on the bow rail! Yelling at/to the admiral is indeed a mortal sin with epic repercussions.
ragin cajun is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 12:51 PM   #39
Guru
 
BandB's Avatar
 
City: Fort Lauderdale
Country: USA
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 13,185
Quote:
Originally Posted by ragin cajun View Post
In my case, this ^ would be followed by a FOR SALE sign mounted on the bow rail! Yelling at/to the admiral is indeed a mortal sin with epic repercussions.
Wifey B: Or mounted on your Derriere.....
BandB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2016, 01:11 PM   #40
omc
Senior Member
 
omc's Avatar
 
City: Antibes
Country: France
Vessel Name: LUTIN
Vessel Model: Grand Banks 42' Motor Yacht
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 480
Same here

Quote:
Originally Posted by ragin cajun View Post
In my case, this ^ would be followed by a FOR SALE sign mounted on the bow rail! Yelling at/to the admiral is indeed a mortal sin with epic repercussions.
Welcome to the club :-)
__________________

__________________
Olivier
omc is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:55 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2006 - 2012