Originally Posted by RT Firefly
Ah, you're a good man Mr. lostviking...Yes indeed the Norwegians DO have a long seafaring history. Did Columbus "discover" America? NO!!!!
L'Anse aux Meadows - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Being of viking ancestry myself I can appreciate your outlook and sentiments.
Travel well my friend...
Haha! When we touch in to the subject, I must shed some more light on it:
Taken from here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3095...9535682394488/
This is the case:
By Anders Kanten in Norgesveldet - America must rejoin The Norwegian Empire · Edit Doc · Delete
"In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the Revocation of Your Independence, effective immediately. His Majesty King Harald V will resume monarchical duties over all states and territories excepting Kansas, which he does not fancy. Your new prime minister, Jens Stoltenberg, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
The claim to the American continent origins from the fact that Leiv Erikson declared "Vinland" a part of the Norwegian reign as early as 1000 AD. This has never been revoked. The legal term "occupation" is defined by international law as a right to seed ownership of newly discovered lands. Due to the enormous defacit in your national budget, you will never be able to resist our claim by processing a trial in the court of law versus the corps of lawyers we will be affordingly able to engage for centuries to come.
To aid in the transition to a Norwegian Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like", "umm" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Anyway, Norwegian will be mandatory language from 2010. You will be lightly informed of the Sami culture and alphabeth (new curriculum in Norwegian elementary school).
2. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as independence day (common logic), but as that of her Royal Highness the Queen Sonjas date of birth.
3. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
4. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
5. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
7. The former USA will adopt Norwegian prices on bensin (which you have been calling gasoline) -roughly $7/US gallon. Get used to it. You will - of cause - submit to the Kyoto protocol of global heating countermeasures.
8. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper Norwegian "pils" will be referred to as beer, and other European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
9. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every five seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game.
10. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 1,8% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "slåball," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
11. The Statue of Liberty will be moved to Bouvetøya where an electric windmill generator is to be installed in the torch. The power generated will drive an automated Norwegian flag raiser, as there is no people on the island to do this manually. The empty pedestal on Liberty Island will soon be mounted by a replica of "Sinnataggen" by Gustav Vigeland (1869-1943).
12. The US Pacific fleet will be relocated to Vernesonen, Smutthullet and Smutthavet to fend off rusty Russian bandit trawlers. "Fire on sight".
13. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.
14. An internal revenue agent ( i.e. "skattefut") from His Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1000 AD).
Thank you for your co-operation.
The people of Norway"
"His Majesty the King is lending an ear to suggestion of claims for the Norwegian Realm and Crown.
His Majesty the King Harald V has forwarded to the Royal Chamber of Internal Affairs: Norwegian colony formerly known as the USA, will be renamed "Lille Marius Land". Former capitol Washington D.C. will be given the new name "Ny Ålesund II".
Norwegian colony formerly known as Canada, will be renamed "Father of Crown Princess: Sven O. Høyby kysten", and merged to Svalbard fylke. Due to the fact that Canada's got an island with a town called Dildo on it, we will not claim this island. Dildo will however be transfered to the Swedish Crown, as this will further boost typical Norwegian humor.
Russia, formerly known as "Gardarike", will again be named Gardarike when mr Vladimir Putin begin recieveing his comfortable pention from His Majestys treasury. Hans Willhelm Steinfeldt will be pointed "Provincial Tsar" due to his bombastic temper, masculine red beard and will/ability to fling hotdogs (w/mustard) at cheeky people.
Please don't refer to my person as the one responsible for the Kings will.. Even though his Majesty is finding it hard to even spell his own name at time present, none of us subjects are worthy to question his authority.
- "The king has visited the USA millions of times", he says, driving his royal golf-cart through every corner of Utah, looking for his lost ball. (He may be understandably confusing Utah with Bogstad golfklubb. But that is beside the point.)
Queen Elisabeth II's claim of U.S. dominion -http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2208523152 - which again origins from - snopes.com: John Cleese Letter to USA
- is by far not valid, as WE SAW IT FIRST! Still, thanks to Jason Sarfo-Annin for inspiration.
8. November 07:
CLAIM TO THE BRITISH ISLES PUT FORWARD!
The above mentioned group (claiming British rule over the US) has been issued the official Norwegian claim to the regency of the British Isles. The following letter was presented:
NORWAY ABOUT TO CLAIM GREAT BRITAIN!
For you that have no historic understanding of this:BBC - Primary History - Vikings - Who were the Vikings
When his majesty King Harald V finally gets to it, a petition to revoke English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Isle of man..ish independence will be handed to your PM, Gordon Brown, in expectance that he immediately hands over Queen and "countries" to the Norwegian realm! Queen Elisabeth II will be forced to symbolicly marry HMK Harald V's retarded cousin, prince Reidar.
You may finish this silly facebook group, as the intellectual copyright has now been hijacked by us, and because the USA has always been Norwegian property, due to the unrevoked claim of the year 1000 AD.
I, his Majesty's expansionist minister, have an English culture fetish, so no immediate violence or extensive taxes (beyond Norwegian standard) will be casted upon you - except from Manchester who needs to pay a big fine for having a rubbish football team.
If you do not bow to our rule, we will buy your companies, fire you all, and later put you on American social welfare (with the rubbish Medicare arrangement).
That is all"
"Theres is very little rants and rage going on (from our unexpectedly polite - and very nice - American members here), but there are some passionate exceptions:
WALL OF FAME (quotes):
Jerry Kassin (E. Michigan):
Every democratic nation on earth is based on the example of the US.
Chris Cronin (St. Edwards):
um, democracies don't have kings.
Josephine McDougal (Houston, TX):
As a proud American woman who loves America, President Bush, Jesus, our Flag, and our brave troops fighting in Iraq, I just want to say you people are reually scumbags! If you hate America so much, why don't you all just join Al Qaeda and go to Iraq? GOD BLESS AMERICA AND OUR PRESIDENT BUSH!
Bear Jacobsen (Berkeley High):
haha at least america has freedom of speech.
Greg Johnson (San Francisco, CA):
****in idiots. USA and CA were never colonies of norway. leif erikson found the ****in continent and named it VInland. he didnt build on it, industrialize it, set up an economy, in fact he that opportunity. and today, we've grown stronger than ever. YOU GUYS DONT HAVE THE FIREPOWER to take on the USA, or even CA, maybe mexico. herring and salmon will only get you so far.
Kyle McNair (UCSB):
Maybe if Norway was a real country...
USA is the world's only superpower, we're not about to let some insignificant country tell us what to do!
WOOOOOOO! USA! WOOOOOOO!"