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Old 05-25-2014, 11:15 PM   #101
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As this thread was posted in my honor, I feel that it is only right that I respond.

The reason that I stopped posting on this forum is because some of you can be quite nasty and mean-spirited. Not everyone, but enough to make me want to move on.

I am very surprised that anyone here would say that I was arrogant or rude. Quite the contrary, I was polite and thankful to everyone that helped me.

I'm disappointed that so many go along with the "pack" reminds me of grade-school, were everyone gangs up on one kid. Have an opinion of your own.

For the record, the 5k reward was to bring boats to light that I otherwise would not have known about. It did work. There were many boats brought to my attention that I had not seen and if I had bought one of them, I would have gladly paid the reward.

It's funny how so many said that I would never pull the trigger. Guess you were wrong. Now some of you say that you wish me well, but really I think that you would love to see me fail miserably so that you can come here and say, "See I knew it. She should have listened."

Thank you to those who have been kind, helpful and supportive right from the beginning and thank you to those who disagreed, but did so in a respectful way. Glad that you have the balls to buck the trend.
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:38 PM   #102
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Galaxy Girl, I wish you and your family nothing but the best of times and memories in this next chapter of your life.

Buying the boat is only a small part of boat ownership. As for your vision of the future...a much bigger task lies ahead. Soak up all the knowledge you can and good luck, honestly!
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Old 05-26-2014, 12:22 AM   #103
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As this thread was posted in my honor, I feel that it is only right that I respond.

The reason that I stopped posting on this forum is because some of you can be quite nasty and mean-spirited. Not everyone, but enough to make me want to move on.

Fully understand why you left. I applaud your response to this thread.

I am very surprised that anyone here would say that I was arrogant or rude. Quite the contrary, I was polite and thankful to everyone that helped me.

While you may feel you were polite and thankful to all, I'm also surprised it surprises you that some thought otherwise. I think they expressed displeasure with some of your responses at the time. While it's easy to blame those here who you feel were rude, don't totally ignore how some might have perceived you. I would say many of those you felt were nasty and mean spirited didn't intend their posts to be so. Actually, as I think back I believe you were somewhat defensive and that did increase the discord. I'm just suggesting that in placing blame on others it's always best any of us look at ourselves as well. Communication isn't how things are intended. It's how they are perceived.

I'm disappointed that so many go along with the "pack" reminds me of grade-school, were everyone gangs up on one kid. Have an opinion of your own.

I take it by the way you're expressing that you're here only to defend yourself but not to reestablish any relationship. Just above you said you were surprised you were perceived as rude. Would it surprise you that the comment you just made might be perceived by some as rude?

For the record, the 5k reward was to bring boats to light that I otherwise would not have known about. It did work. There were many boats brought to my attention that I had not seen and if I had bought one of them, I would have gladly paid the reward.

The approach from the beginning was at the least very unorthodox. I don't think it's surprising that was better received at the other board than here. I do think however that due to the boat type you've purchased you could greatly benefit from what is here. There are two aspects. One dreaming and it's great to have all those praising the pursuit of your dream. However, there are many practical aspects too and in that regard just having cheerleaders won't get one through. The need for constructive critical dialogue shouldn't be ignored. The very ones who have supported your courage might also be the ones who fail to keep you out of trouble.

It's funny how so many said that I would never pull the trigger. Guess you were wrong. Now some of you say that you wish me well, but really I think that you would love to see me fail miserably so that you can come here and say, "See I knew it. She should have listened."

I freely admit not thinking you would ever pull the trigger and as each failed to work out I felt that more so. I'm glad to have been proven wrong. Just because any of us might not have thought you'd pull the trigger doesn't mean anyone wants to see you fail. A doesn't necessarily lead to B. I personally hope you succeed. I don't want to see anyone fail at their attempt at boating.

Thank you to those who have been kind, helpful and supportive right from the beginning and thank you to those who disagreed, but did so in a respectful way. Glad that you have the balls to buck the trend.
You could have just put that first sentence which was positive without the latter sentence which implies that those challenging you lacked balls. Perhaps judgement but don't think anyone here just went along with others. That's not the way people here are. There's plenty of disagreement among members.

I intend this as constructive. I don't know whether you'll accept it that way or not. It's not a personal criticism in any way but we all have different styles and obviously on occasion yours clashed with that of some here.

I would encourage you to consider that you still are new and still need a lot of advice and assistance. You don't need everyone saying "yes" and "oh what a brave woman and inspiration." Yes, that would be nice to hear. But you also need people who will advise you when they're concerned you're over your head. I wouldn't profess to tell you how to purchase distressed and near free real estate and then flip it.

We had years of lake boating experience but as we got underway on coastal boating we went to a site, not either of these. We got all sorts of advice. We listened to those saying my ideas were crazy. We just absorbed it all. Then with all the information we had, we made our decisions. It was also less friendly to females than you might think this site is as there was only one female there other than my wife. The other site you visit may be more friendly to females than this one is simply because it has so many more.

In extending an invitation to you returning, I don't by any means promise you won't be offended by things sometimes said or even insulted. I don't think there is a member here who has never been insulted. But I also know you've been treated both positively and negatively at the other site. You were blasted as a horrible mother that you'd even consider going with your kids to the Bahamas during hurricane season which was totally over the line of decency. It showed a lot of ignorance toward Florida and the Bahamas. They seemed to feel like if you were there you'd lack the good sense to get your children to safety thinking as if somehow you were going to blindly stay anchored with your boat. We assumed all along and I think correctly that no boat would ever come ahead of your children.

In talking to different sectors of boating you will encounter a lot. Go talk to engineers on commercial vessels and get insulted because you can't tear engines down and have never personally supervised a boat build. But they still have some worthwhile knowledge. I have captain friends who strongly disagree with each other. One thinks we're crazy that we like to go outside and don't stick to the ICW. There were those who speak nothing kind toward US built boats. Some who think if it's not Dutch and steel it's no good. There are some here who think you're crazy to ever want to go more than 10 knots and some who think over 100 hp is foolish. But there are others in boats similar to yours. There are those on the other site you frequent who think anyone living on more than $500-1000 a month is offensive and would consider you a representative of the wealthy and all that is wrong in the world.

There are different people and different types of people on all these forums. Some will not like you. You won't like some. Some will help you. Some will get terribly frustrated trying and feeling you're not listening. The reality is you have to decide what you need and what sites will benefit you. Obviously the Hatteras Owners Group is one. Owners of boats similar to yours. While the majority here have smaller slower boats than you, there are many much like yours and even those not have more in common from a mechanical viewpoint than the other forum. Lifestyle I think you might find more there. The majority of people here are at a different stage of life than you. They're older, children no longer home, many retired. My wife and I are among the youngest. She's one of the few probably as young or younger than you. I leave that a little open since it allows for all meanings of 30 something.

You're also now to a different stage of your boating life cycle where a lot of "How's" will come to mind and you need to seek whatever resources will bring you the widest and most worthwhile responses. Just accept many of those responses will not be things you agree with. How many on the other forum say you must be able to work on your own boat. Well many here do as well. I doubt many of them were good at that on day one. Now my wife and I don't do that and won't choose to. But we fully recognize we're not mainstream.
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Old 05-26-2014, 01:29 AM   #104
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Some will get terribly frustrated trying and feeling you're not listening.
Who could? That long commentary and much longer postscript as a reply to a note 1/10th long. C'mon ... enough psychoanalysis and lecturing. Let the history be history and let's move on. She bought a boat already despite popular opinion.

Congrats GG ... you will make it happen ...
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Old 05-26-2014, 01:35 AM   #105
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GG If you forego this site I think you are making a mistake. I have read posts yours and others on other sites. This site had more conservative questioning about what you are doing and less that's the girl just do it and run with the wild pack. For the lack of knowledge you started with and the kind of questions you asked it seems only reasonable to me that prudent cruisers and boat owners had alarms ringing. Remember it was you who made your situation in some greater detail than most posters very public and in return you got very public response some what you wanted to hear some not. As to some people not being very nice well that's what happens when you deal with lots of people. There is a lot of cumulative experience and knowledge on this site you just have to use judgement in sifting through it as on any internet site or publication.
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Old 05-26-2014, 02:05 AM   #106
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Who could? That long commentary and much longer postscript as a reply to a note 1/10th long. C'mon ... enough psychoanalysis and lecturing. Let the history be history and let's move on. She bought a boat already despite popular opinion.

Congrats GG ... you will make it happen ...
I was trying to invite and encourage her to return. I was attempting to mend a fence. And you were attempting to? Lecture me on lecturing? Ok.
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Old 05-26-2014, 02:16 AM   #107
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I would not bet against her in realizing her dreams. Beyond obvious drive and determination, she has bigger cajones than a lot of guys I know!
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Old 05-26-2014, 06:50 AM   #108
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Beyond obvious drive and determination, she has bigger cajones than a lot of guys I know!

The real question is will she actually do the homework and learning required to operate the boat , (years !)and out fit it for some offshore use?

Playing house tied to a dock is great fun , bit a no brainer.
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Old 05-26-2014, 09:43 AM   #109
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Nice to hear from you again, Gee Gee. Congrats on the boat. Here, have some Kool-Aid.
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Old 05-26-2014, 10:01 AM   #110
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Can you say "passive aggressive"?
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Old 05-26-2014, 10:10 AM   #111
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GG,

We wish you good luck, great fun and amazing adventures. Even if not all of your dreams come true the fact that your children are being exposed to life on a boat will change their lives forever. You have our congratulations, now get to work!

Bob & Jill
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Old 05-26-2014, 11:20 AM   #112
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GG will reappear on these pages, it will be fun.

Congratulations on your post #66 prediction, you won the thread

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Old 05-26-2014, 11:23 AM   #113
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Well,I think it should be friendly. After all this is hobby/sport/avocation,not a competition. Leave that at your office,if you still have one,
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Old 05-26-2014, 12:23 PM   #114
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I think part of the trouble with these forums is it is difficult to type and set a "tone" for a conversation. Not all of us are super eloquent and when typing even worse. When conversing verbally, it is much easier to read someones attitude and adjust. When typing, you dump out what you want to say and there it sits to be analyzed by many. Little opportunity to soften the wording from that point. The tone is perceived as negative and folks pounce on it. The intent may have never been negative at all.

To GG- Best of luck to you, and congrats on "gettin it done". You will have a pretty heavy dose of de-bugging the boat and there is much knowledge here to help. If a poster seems abrasive, consider the above and give a little slack.

I know the 12v71's and generators well on these old rigs, so I can help there.
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Old 05-26-2014, 01:03 PM   #115
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Can you say "passive aggressive"?
Wifey B: I'd label GG as aggressive but I mean that as a compliment. Now we're over here posting page after page after page about her, behind her back, yeah....she should come flying in. Imagine someone tipped her off and they should have.

If she comes back or not it's her choice. But she should do just what is best for her. If she does return, those who don't like her can just ignore her. The answers she doesn't like though she'll just have to stand up and take like a woman.....

Not like the other forum has been all nice and cuddly to her recently either. Anywhere you go you got some who will like, some won't. That's life.
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Old 05-26-2014, 01:12 PM   #116
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Wifey B: We're out of this thread unless she returns. If she does, we'll welcome her. If not, then why talk about her? Yes, we were a large part of it, but no more.
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Old 05-26-2014, 08:14 PM   #117
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GG boat

I do not think anyone really wants you to fail. May the sea be kind to you! Enjoy!
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Old 05-27-2014, 01:46 PM   #118
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Welcome back GG! Enjoy your blog! Good luck and stay with us! Even if some are not-so-user friendly, most of us are very happy to see you "Living the Dream" and your kids will be building unforgetable memories of living on the water!
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Old 05-27-2014, 05:02 PM   #119
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You go girl. Love the boat, she is MASSIVE. Enjoy the learning curve, overwhelming at first but it gets better and better.
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Old 05-27-2014, 07:17 PM   #120
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I don't know.

What is the difference between her 1987 Hatteras and the majority of boats here on TF?

Most people here have older boats, and all older boats are pretty much the same. The Hatteras is probably one of the more well designed boats here.
Kevin, FYI, for reference, a Hatt 63MY is at least double your boat in volume, systems and complexity.
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