Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 04-20-2014, 02:06 PM   #21
Guru
 
BandB's Avatar
 
City: Fort Lauderdale
Country: USA
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 13,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nsail View Post

Remember, this is, unfortunately, not always a friendly place.
Then it behooves us to do all within our power to remedy that aspect. Each of us individually. Or doubly as in the case of us posting.

Sometimes forums become "Good Old Boy Clubs" and that has nothing to do with male or female and old or young. It has to do with how newcomers are welcomed. Now we never felt anything but welcomed here. But then we also had much more experience than true newcomers, not just to the forum, but to trawler type cruising and boats.

Most here have trawlers. But we do get those who dream of them or want to have one in the future or just acquired their first boat. With them sometimes we need to issue stern warnings so they don't make serious mistakes. But also educate and encourage. Very difficult balance to achieve. Sometimes if there's a newcomer post that I just can't digest and might not respond to well, then I simply leave them to others to try to assist and keep quiet myself.
__________________
Advertisement

BandB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 02:39 PM   #22
Guru


 
City: Full-time onboard
Country: USA
Vessel Model: Trawler
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 937
I think it's sad what happened here (and elsewhere) to GG. Someone new with a different background interested in coming into our community? They should be welcomed warmly with the assumption that they'll ask questions that don't make sense and start to go down roads that those with more experience know to not venture down. Of course that will happen.

None of us knows exactly how she's a mother of 5 and single. I can come up with a dozen ways that would stop each of us in our tracks and cause us to admire her. She surely has some business and planning expertise. But mostly, she has desire. We all should be doing everything possible to help her and understand if she doesn't follow our advice but decides to take her own path.

I wrote to her personally very early in her process. I told her to ignore the negative comments that would surely come. I suggested staying off the forums (which she ignored). But I'm happy to see her continue in her quest and I honestly hope that I find myself in an anchorage with her and those kids someday. I follow her blog and I know that if this boat doesn't work out, another probably will.
__________________

Jeffrey S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 03:16 PM   #23
Guru
 
psneeld's Avatar
 
City: Avalon, NJ
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Freedom
Vessel Model: Albin 40
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 15,877
In my experience...everyone starts off with pretty much an equal reception in forums...but for some...it only takes a reply or two before they are headed in a direction that will ultimately give them grief...whether it's from one person..or the masses.

heck...in real life a lot of people think personalities from certain parts of the country are automatically this or that because of the way they may respond to a question...which can't be farther from the truth.

the same here...sometimes blunt is taken the wrong way...and some people don't have the inclination to sugar coat it.

GG got what she got...a few that blubbered over her and a few that slammed her. The vast majority ran the spectrum of belief to disbelief...but few were outright nasty or mean. Some may have thought so...but all in all the vast majority just fell within the guidelines of what these forums normally are.

Some of the people who get picked on (in some people's eyes) are the same ones that get picked on elsewhere....I wonder why???? and often enough....they throw out some juicy stuff themselves.
psneeld is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 03:23 PM   #24
Guru
 
Capthead's Avatar
 
City: Long Beach, CA
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Heads Up
Vessel Model: Grand Banks 42 Classic
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 950
She is an air head.

Simple as that.
Capthead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 03:30 PM   #25
Guru


 
City: Full-time onboard
Country: USA
Vessel Model: Trawler
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 937
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capthead View Post
She is an air head.
So was I when I first ventured onto T&T (I was the 63rd member back in 1997 or so). Had I been met with such aggression, I might have ended up in a very nice motorhome by now. Thankfully, most of us back then didn't know what we were doing...
Jeffrey S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 03:37 PM   #26
Guru
 
Capthead's Avatar
 
City: Long Beach, CA
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Heads Up
Vessel Model: Grand Banks 42 Classic
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 950
I have seen women buy boats in our harbor and I always encourage them. Some have their feet on the ground and think logical, but they are rare. I have a slip neighbor who asks me constantly how to do things and I used to give her advice.

Then she would ask someone else who would give her the cheap fix and she would go that way. Now her boat looks like crap. She is an air head too.
Capthead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 03:53 PM   #27
Guru
 
hollywood8118's Avatar
 
City: Port Townsend Washington
Country: USA
Vessel Name: " OTTER "
Vessel Model: Ocean Alexander Europa 40
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,482
Some of the issues with her was she didn't know squat...then wanted to argue when vastly more experienced boaters gave a opinion she didn't agree with. I dont think any forum on anything where there is a risk to life and limb is going to be easy on a newcommer that wants to skip the logical steps to be smart and safe in the endeavor.

I know I dont want a newbie getting anywhere me in a 60' boat...much less with a bunch of young kids aboard..in the confines of a marina... or even in open water. There is so much more than the ability to write a check and the desire to live the dream to being out there. They dont teach new pilots to learn to fly in a 747 for a reason...especially with it full of passengers.
Personally I could give a crap weather it was galaxy girl or guy for that matter..gender doesnt have to do with anything.
Safely doing what we do with boats takes time and concentration to do it right..without harm to others or property.
Hollywood
hollywood8118 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 04:04 PM   #28
Guru
 
BandB's Avatar
 
City: Fort Lauderdale
Country: USA
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 13,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by hollywood8118 View Post
Some of the issues with her was she didn't know squat...then wanted to argue when vastly more experienced boaters gave a opinion she didn't agree with. I dont think any forum on anything where there is a risk to life and limb is going to be easy on a newcommer that wants to skip the logical steps to be smart and safe in the endeavor.
That's when perhaps use of private messages can be helpful. Offer assistance by suggesting an approach to her than will be more successful in posting. I've done that in private and politely with newcomers on more than one occasion. Explained they could get great advice here but if they ask a question expect to get some answers they don't like. Just listen to it all and then sort through it all yourself. And not to rush. Just take time and absorb. Be like a sponge. A cliche but it's a good one.

Sometimes newbies need to be told they're part of the reason for the conflict and that if the posts bother them, then figure out a better way to handle it.

This is still not to justify rudeness to a poster. Just suggesting if a newcomer is struggling to find their way, privately advising can be good. Now something tells me too that she did have private discussions and they didn't lead to a better approach as might have been hoped.

She's by far not the only newcomer to make no sense at first, seem lost, and argue on things they knew nothing about. Our job perhaps isn't to attack them, but assist them in becoming a better forum participant.
BandB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 04:11 PM   #29
Guru
 
hollywood8118's Avatar
 
City: Port Townsend Washington
Country: USA
Vessel Name: " OTTER "
Vessel Model: Ocean Alexander Europa 40
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,482
Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB View Post
That's when perhaps use of private messages can be helpful. Offer assistance by suggesting an approach to her than will be more successful in posting. I've done that in private and politely with newcomers on more than one occasion. Explained they could get great advice here but if they ask a question expect to get some answers they don't like. Just listen to it all and then sort through it all yourself. And not to rush. Just take time and absorb. Be like a sponge. A cliche but it's a good one.

Sometimes newbies need to be told they're part of the reason for the conflict and that if the posts bother them, then figure out a better way to handle it.

This is still not to justify rudeness to a poster. Just suggesting if a newcomer is struggling to find their way, privately advising can be good. Now something tells me too that she did have private discussions and they didn't lead to a better approach as might have been hoped.

She's by far not the only newcomer to make no sense at first, seem lost, and argue on things they knew nothing about. Our job perhaps isn't to attack them, but assist them in becoming a better forum participant.
If one is that sensitive they should not ask opinions on a forum..

More than one long time member here went quiet because of how ridiculous it got.

Even I ignored the topic as It was a waste of time.
Hollywood
hollywood8118 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 04:18 PM   #30
Dauntless Award
 
Wxx3's Avatar
 
City: New York, NY
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Dauntless
Vessel Model: Kadey Krogen 42 - 148
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,312
Quote:
Originally Posted by AusCan View Post
...

Still the survey to go for her so she's not over the last hurdle yet; but I'll be drinking a toast to her when she eventually pulls its off.
and too think; i thought Aussies liked to drink
__________________
M/Y Dauntless, New York
a Kadey Krogen 42 Currently https://share.delorme.com/dauntless
Blog: https://dauntlessatsea.com
Find us: https://share.delorme.com/dauntless
Wxx3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 04:23 PM   #31
Guru
 
janice142's Avatar
 
City: St. Pete, FL
Country: USofA
Vessel Name: Seaweed
Vessel Model: Schucker mini-trawler
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 914
Send a message via AIM to janice142 Send a message via MSN to janice142 Send a message via Yahoo to janice142 Send a message via Skype™ to janice142
Quote:
Originally Posted by hollywood8118 View Post
There is so much more than the ability to write a check and the desire to live the dream to being out there. They dont teach new pilots to learn to fly in a 747 for a reason...especially with it full of passengers.
Exactly. Not knowing isn't an issue. How often do we see folks on the forums saying "I've got $10k and want to buy a blue water boat and sail around the world. What boat should I buy?" (Said individual has NEVER been sailing, has no clue, and wants to do this in two years -- without funds of course.)

And she's (GG) STILL all talk. Or write.

There's nothing wrong with having a dream and pursuing it. All of us do that -- but it wasn't what was said by GG, it was how it was said. She *appeared* to want to have everything laid out on a silver platter, was willing to pay $5k to find "the one" but talk is talk.

She's all talk. And no, I doubt if she will ever break out of the confines of fear and actually BUY a boat. She likes dreaming, posting about it -- but the nitty gritty? Nope.

Of course I've been wrong before. (For proof, ask my ex-husband.)

Opinion: She's not going to find "the one" and enjoys the attention generated by kind folks who want to help. And I'm not certain GG exists.
__________________
Janice aboard Seaweed, living the good life afloat...
http://janice142.com
janice142 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 04:23 PM   #32
Guru
 
Portuguese's Avatar
 
City: Salvador - BA
Country: Brazil
Vessel Name: Rainha Jannota
Vessel Model: Curruira 46
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 662
Send a message via MSN to Portuguese
I think that her problem was only the excess of arrogance and the lack of humbleness dealing with a learning process.
When you do not know squat about a subject that you want to know about, and you attack the issue the way she did here, you don't need to heat up the discussion by offering prizes for this or that, mainly when you know for sure that you're not going to pay.
Her attitude shows obvious arrogance typical from a person that is predominantly defensive. No wonder, having 5 kids to rise on her own, how would any of us behave?

She will fulfill her dreams sooner or later, and will have a boat in which she will be happy cruising with her kids while still young and full of energy; not so much like the majority of us. We are wiser and with more knowledge, she is younger and has a lot more energy and will power. One day in the future she will realize how childish her attitude was, to say the least.
At the end, nobody is better or worse, we all have an added value, in different stages in life!
Portuguese
__________________
Now retired and cruising in calm waters
https://www.flickr.com/photos/rainha_jannota/
Portuguese is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 04:43 PM   #33
Dauntless Award
 
Wxx3's Avatar
 
City: New York, NY
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Dauntless
Vessel Model: Kadey Krogen 42 - 148
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,312
we're the airheads:facepalm:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capthead View Post
She is an air head.

Simple as that.



She has gotten hundreds of people on numerous forums to spend gobs of time trying to help her and give her advice and you think she is an airhead.

we're the airheads

What makes this forum so valuable in terms of the time we spend on it is the useful, frank advice, that sometimes is not what we want to hear nor what we agree with, or it's simply not pertinent.

I'll make you a bet though, that if I told you I was going to cross the south pacific with a one year old, someone would have asked "What are you going to do when she gets sick?"

IMHO Sometimes being kind is not helpful and occasionally dangerous.
__________________
M/Y Dauntless, New York
a Kadey Krogen 42 Currently https://share.delorme.com/dauntless
Blog: https://dauntlessatsea.com
Find us: https://share.delorme.com/dauntless
Wxx3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 05:39 PM   #34
Guru
 
BandB's Avatar
 
City: Fort Lauderdale
Country: USA
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 13,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by janice142 View Post
Exactly. Not knowing isn't an issue. How often do we see folks on the forums saying "I've got $10k and want to buy a blue water boat and sail around the world. What boat should I buy?" (Said individual has NEVER been sailing, has no clue, and wants to do this in two years -- without funds of course.)

And she's (GG) STILL all talk. Or write.

There's nothing wrong with having a dream and pursuing it. All of us do that -- but it wasn't what was said by GG, it was how it was said. She *appeared* to want to have everything laid out on a silver platter, was willing to pay $5k to find "the one" but talk is talk.

She's all talk. And no, I doubt if she will ever break out of the confines of fear and actually BUY a boat. She likes dreaming, posting about it -- but the nitty gritty? Nope.

Of course I've been wrong before. (For proof, ask my ex-husband.)

Opinion: She's not going to find "the one" and enjoys the attention generated by kind folks who want to help. And I'm not certain GG exists.
Janice, I frankly agree with you having read a lot of her threads on various sites.

I also look then at damage. If someone comes on a forum giving dangerous advice to people, then they're dangerous and must be stopped. Also if one asks somehow for money or if they use a forum to promote their business against rules.

If someone comes on asking questions, even if arrogant, even if batty, even if totally fake and imaginary, that's not really hurting anyone unless someone gets somehow financially involved. It can be ignored as I've chosen to ignore GG for a long long time. Or if answered, might teach someone else something. If you want to answer, give good answers as if they're real.

Now if they're too rude or make personal attacks in return, that needs to be stopped as well.

This isn't the first "the one" she's found. Perhaps it all fulfills something in her life she needs. As long as she can do it without hurting others then I'm going to try not to let it upset me. Might even be entertaining if not sucked into it.
BandB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 06:02 PM   #35
Guru
 
healhustler's Avatar
 
City: Longboat Key, FL
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Bucky
Vessel Model: Krogen Manatee 36 North Sea
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,178
Could Galaxy Girl be Marin?
__________________
Larry

"I'd rather be happy than dignified".
healhustler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 06:04 PM   #36
Guru
 
Capthead's Avatar
 
City: Long Beach, CA
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Heads Up
Vessel Model: Grand Banks 42 Classic
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 950
I read some of the long long thread she had and after a while it got boring and irritating. I love this forum and think that thread was a huge test. As to who is the airhead? I can't say I think the forum was.
Capthead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 06:10 PM   #37
Guru
 
BandB's Avatar
 
City: Fort Lauderdale
Country: USA
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 13,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capthead View Post
I read some of the long long thread she had and after a while it got boring and irritating. I love this forum and think that thread was a huge test. As to who is the airhead? I can't say I think the forum was.
I think some just kept reading because it was a bit of a train wreck. A test? Perhaps. Did the forum pass? Perhaps marginally.
BandB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 06:24 PM   #38
Guru
 
janice142's Avatar
 
City: St. Pete, FL
Country: USofA
Vessel Name: Seaweed
Vessel Model: Schucker mini-trawler
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 914
Send a message via AIM to janice142 Send a message via MSN to janice142 Send a message via Yahoo to janice142 Send a message via Skype™ to janice142
Quote:
Originally Posted by healhustler View Post
Could Galaxy Girl be Marin?
Where's my popcorn? I want to watch the response to that!
__________________
Janice aboard Seaweed, living the good life afloat...
http://janice142.com
janice142 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 06:37 PM   #39
Enigma
 
RT Firefly's Avatar
 
City: Slicker?
Country: Bumpkin?
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,995
Greetings,
Here ya go...


__________________
RTF
RT Firefly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2014, 07:51 PM   #40
Guru
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,291
GG has been posting on multiple forms. I found some of the posts from GG and those answering entertaining. I am sure GG got some knowledge from posting about what she is getting into. Some people learn to swim by taking small incremental learning steps this lady wanted the head first high dive. Many posters encouraged her others advised caution and a slower incremental entry into the fray. If she keeps posting it will be interesting to see where this all goes. I personally don't agree with the the boat she has chosen and the way she has handled things, but what does that mean since I don't agree with a great deal others do. The posts on the cruisers form had a lot of encouragement no surprise since a lot of posters are from the foot lose gypsy freedom seeking live aboard contingent of boating. I stay tuned in for the next episode of live aboard realty with GG. Dam that popcorn is making me hungry.
__________________

eyschulman is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:46 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2006 - 2012