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Old 08-18-2015, 04:32 AM   #21
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City: Chicago, IL
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Bay Pelican
Vessel Model: Krogen 42
Join Date: Oct 2007
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My condolences. You prayed for her suffering to end and it has. Yours will continue but she (after 49 years) would want you to continue to live treasuring her memory.

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Old 08-18-2015, 04:51 AM   #22
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City: Sarasota,FL/Thomasville,GA
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Steppin Stone IV
Vessel Model: Marine Trader Kelly Trawler 46
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,266
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I am so sorry for your loss, yet feel very honored you would share with us. I can not say I know what your going through, I pray for grace and comfort for you.

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Old 08-18-2015, 05:18 AM   #23
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City: Niceville, FL
Country: USA
Vessel Name: At Last
Vessel Model: 1990 Jefferson 52 Marquessa
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 571
John so sorry for your loss. May you find peace in all of what you do. For me no better peace than on the water. God Bless.
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Old 08-18-2015, 06:03 AM   #24
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City: Slicker?
Country: Bumpkin?
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,858
Words escape me but her spirit remains with you. Your lives together made you who you are. As mentioned, cherish the good times. Peace.
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Old 08-18-2015, 07:14 AM   #25
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City: Heartland
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Hi-D-Ho
Vessel Model: 1987 Krogen Manatee
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 585
John I pass this on to you.
And if I go, while you're still here... know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure behind a thin veil you cannot see through. You will not see me, so you must have faith. I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other. Until then live your life to the fullest. And when you need me. Just whisper my name in your heart, I will be there.
This from Collen Corah Hitchcock which always gives me comfort in times like this. God speed.
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Old 08-18-2015, 08:22 AM   #26
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City: Hailing Port: Charleston, SC
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Moonstruck
Vessel Model: Sabre 42 Hardtop Express
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 7,312
John, so sorry for your loss. No, we are never ready for something like that. There is just something missing no matter the circumstances when someone passes. Their presence is no longer sensed. It just leaves a hole in your life. The best advice I can give you is the advice my late wife gave me. Near the end she said, "You have done your job here. When I die get on with your life." She was practical to the end. So, take some time for reflection. You will know when it is time to move on.

BTW, feel free to drop by Moonstruck anytime I am on board. I would be happy to see you again. I also make some pretty good coffee. Moved to new floating dock slip.

Best to you, my friend.
Don on Moonstruck
Sabre 42 Hardtop Express & Blackfin 25 CC
When cruising life is simpler, but on a grander scale (author unknown)
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Old 08-18-2015, 08:46 AM   #27
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City: Gulf Shores, Ala.
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Ulysses
Vessel Model: Romsdal 1963
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 786
John: I am sorry for your loss. I purchased my boat about 10 years ago in order to have some quality time on the water with my children. Which I did. My daughter would never pass up a trip even though she would get sea sick walking down the dock. They were wonderful times. She passed in an auto accident three years ago.
Now people wonder why I single hand long trips. I don't she is with me.
You will never "get over it" but hopefully you will learn to cope.
My prayers are with you.
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Old 08-18-2015, 10:22 AM   #28
City: NC
Country: US
Join Date: Jan 2014
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One of our neighbors cared for his wife who suffered from dementia. It was horrible on her and worse on him. He would sometimes escape from his burden to spend a bit of time with me but he could never visit for long. I watched him age well beyond his years as time went on carrying for his wife. Eventually she died and he slowly regained his mental and physical health. Honestly, I don't know how much longer he could have continued carrying for her like he did. He was just exhausted emotionally and physically.

As time passed, he bounced back from what he had endured for years. Eventually, he felt well enough to do do some things he had not done in decades, he started to date again and he remarried. His new wife had been a long time care giver to her husband who suffered through a long illness.

Take some time to recover from what you have been through. Go do some things for you.

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Old 08-18-2015, 10:28 AM   #29
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City: Galveston, Texas
Country: U.S.A.
Vessel Model: 52' North Pacific
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 234
So sorry.

It just takes time.
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Old 08-18-2015, 11:51 AM   #30
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City: Mooloolaba
Country: Australia
Vessel Name: Tidahapah
Vessel Model: Bert Ellis Timber motor cruiser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,757
My condolences for your loss.
I like that you are going to take the boat out and get some water flowing under the keel.
you will hear her sing to you.
All the best for the future.
"When I die I hope my wife doesn't sell my toys for what I told her I paid for them"
Money: It's made round to go round , not flat to stack.
"Get out and do it"
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Old 08-18-2015, 11:54 AM   #31
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City: League City, Tx
Country: Texas
Vessel Model: Carver 356
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,978
I think everything has pretty much been said. Prayers for your healing and prayers for her soul.

I will add one thing.....look at what a beautiful thread you and her have started!!! There are some very fine beautiful souls on this forum!!! Godspeed to your wife and prayers for your healing!!!
Prairie 29...Perkins 4236...Sold
Mainship Pilot 30...Yanmar 4LHA-STP...Sold
Carver 356...T-Cummins 330B
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:04 PM   #32
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City: Washington NC Waterfront
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Heron (2)
Vessel Model: '88 Cape Dory 28 Flybridge #115
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 877
My dad went through this many years ago....He and my Mom bought their dreamboat on which they hoped to cruise into a happy retirement. A brain tumor and relatively quick end, brought that dream to a halt. The boat kept my dad going until he died some years later. Let the water be your therapy....
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:21 PM   #33
City: man-o-war cay
Country: bahamas
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 7
My thoughts and prayers are for you as you adjust to a new life.It is tough living without the "First Mate" as I found out when I lost mine 5 years ago after a long battle with cancer After here passing I bought the trawler that we had planned to buy earlier but it did not work out due to her illness.Spend lots of time on your boat, it will bring peace and good thoughts of your wonderful years spent together.
Scott. (Conchy Joe)
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Old 08-18-2015, 01:16 PM   #34
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City: Exumas
Country: Bahamas
Vessel Name: Bad Monkey
Vessel Model: Gulf Star 43
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 124
Peace to your wife John.
I hope the water brings some easing of your sorrow and your boat a way back to finding happiness. Of course you also have friends to help when you need it
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Old 08-18-2015, 02:35 PM   #35
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City: Oneida Lake, NY
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Radio Flyer
Vessel Model: Wilderness Systems Aspire 105
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 769
Boy, I thought I was having a bad day, today. Then I read this thread. Thank you for helping me realize that I'm taking a lot for granted.

Get out there enjoy cruising enough for two people! Time, exhaust fumes, and frothy wakes heal all wounds. Best of luck!
What I drive at work
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Old 08-18-2015, 03:08 PM   #36
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City: Philadelphia
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Dreamers Holiday
Vessel Model: Mainship 390
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 277
So very sorry for your loss. The boat can be a great help to you in your time of grief. Hopefully you're in a great marina with strong friends to help you through this. I was a caregiver to my mother who died of dementia several years ago. My problem was then all the extra hours I had that needed to be filled otherwise depression would set in. which it did. if the pain becomes too much please be sure to seek help
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Old 08-19-2015, 09:07 AM   #37
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City: Trenton
Country: USA
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 673
Very sorry for your loss, John.
Al Johnson
34' Marine Trader
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Old 08-19-2015, 05:28 PM   #38
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City: Cape Cod
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Slip Aweigh
Vessel Model: Prairie 29
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 904
Sortie: Wishing your Wife a fair tide and following seas on her journey to Valhalla. And wishing you an easy transition as well. As clichť as it sounds, Your good memories will eventually outweigh the bad. The good thing about your prairie is: she has plenty of room for all your memories. Peace. John
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Old 08-19-2015, 07:18 PM   #39
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City: PEI
Country: Canada
Vessel Name: Sea Dog
Vessel Model: Jeaneau 21
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 65
My condolences, John. May you find comfort and peace on your boat.
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Old 08-19-2015, 07:47 PM   #40
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City: Carrabelle, FL
Country: USA
Vessel Name: Morgan
Vessel Model: '05 Mainship 40T
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 635
My mother has parkinsons, she was diagnosed about 15 years ago and has steadily declined. My father in law was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

I've watched my dad fight many battles (including sometimes his own frustrations and suppressed desires) to be my mother's care giver. I have deep sympathy for you and will pray for you tonight.

You are a brave and good man. God has a special place and a plan for you.

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