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Old 12-16-2010, 12:16 PM   #21
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

oh my gosh I am LOVING reading the last few posts about the happy Admirals!* You guys know you are lucky right?* I know my husband know that he is!*

I was talking to one of our members privately and it got me thinking about why many wives aren't that into the whole boating thing.* I was already into boating before I met Matt but plenty of you have been successful in introducing a non-boating spouse to boating.* I definitely agree on EASING into it.* Also making her part of it!* Not all people WANT to do that.** Many WANT the boat to be their getaway, sanctuary, whatever, that the spouse is not involved with.* But then when they DO want the spouse around, the spouse is supposed to jump in with enthusiasm.* It is no surprise they aren't interested!*

i can't find it now but one of you mentioned that a wife might see it as another place where she is expected to cook and clean.* Do you only bring her along when you need someone to do that?* Matt probably cooks more than I do and we both are constantly finding something to clean so the boat is as clean and presentable as our home.* And it does not have that damp feel to it as soon as walk on board that so many boats do.* YUCK.** I would not want any part of that!*

Anyway, I ramble.

Matt and I took the power squadron class, it was great.*Also we are very involved our yacht club and having boating friends does make it even more fun...
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:58 PM   #22
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

My Admiral has always loved the sea.* She once told me that when she was a very little girl her favorite ride at the amusement park was the boats which ran in real water, but were guided along their course by wooden planking.* We have had four boats together now, so I guess she's serious (maybe about me too).
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:15 PM   #23
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:
Pineapple Girl wrote:



*You guys know you are lucky right?*
I too read The story's and sentiments posted by everyone and there spouses.

And you are truly lucky. Enjoy every Minuit of it folks because we never know when the worst that can happen should befall us.

I do the majority of my boating solo as my SO. I can't really call her the Admiral yet as she has been diagnosed these past 10 years with MS and confined to electric transportation of the two wheeled variety.

Al tho she does rejoice in my passion for the boat and has gone occasionally when the tide is high and her chair can negotiate the ramp and *the sun is shining. As she is a woman of strong will and desires self sufficiency above all else. It is difficult for her to need to be hoisted aboard and not be able to move about as she wishes.

The search goes on for a trawler that can afford her mobility.**

the ones big enough are a little out of our price range. The best I have seen with the proper lay out is the Kady Krogen Whaleback At 48 ft and has every thing save the pilothouse on one level. The Manatee is a close second but is a little small at 36 ft for our needs.*

Enjoy my friends if you truly have a mate to accompany you and be kind It is a partnership.
*
It may take a few more years but I am confident I shall find the right boat.*
Even if I have to build it myself.*

Then me and my Admiral shall cruise as so many before us.

SD
*

*
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:48 PM   #24
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:

I too read The story's and sentiments posted by everyone and there spouses.

And you are truly lucky. Enjoy every Minuit of it folks because we never know when the worst that can happen should befall us.

I do the majority of my boating solo as my SO. I can't really call her the Admiral yet as she has been diagnosed these past 10 years with MS and confined to electric transportation of the two wheeled variety.

Al tho she does rejoice in my passion for the boat and has gone occasionally when the tide is high and her chair can negotiate the ramp and *the sun is shining. As she is a woman of strong will and desires self sufficiency above all else. It is difficult for her to need to be hoisted aboard and not be able to move about as she wishes.

The search goes on for a trawler that can afford her mobility.**

the ones big enough are a little out of our price range. The best I have seen with the proper lay out is the Kady Krogen Whaleback At 48 ft and has every thing save the pilothouse on one level. The Manatee is a close second but is a little small at 36 ft for our needs.*

Enjoy my friends if you truly have a mate to accompany you and be kind It is a partnership.

It may take a few more years but I am confident I shall find the right boat.*
Even if I have to build it myself.*

Then me and my Admiral shall cruise as so many before us.

SD

SkipperSunnfjord boats in Tacoma, WA built a boat which I believe was featured in one of the first couple years of Passagemaker Magazine. I believe it was about 55 ft., and featured full accessibility, including an elevator to the pilothouse. These guys build a quality commercial grade boat at reasonable prices. A friend of mine has a 46 footer of theirs, which has taken them to Mexico and back over a several year voyage. I wish you could locate and maybe see the one Passagemaker featured, as it would be good background information for you.*

*
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:53 PM   #25
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:
Pineapple Girl wrote:
*

oh my gosh I am LOVING reading the last few posts about the happy Admirals!* You guys know you are lucky right?* I know my husband know that he is!*

I was talking to one of our members privately and it got me thinking about why many wives aren't that into the whole boating thing.* I was already into boating before I met Matt but plenty of you have been successful in introducing a non-boating spouse to boating.* I definitely agree on EASING into it.* Also making her part of it!* Not all people WANT to do that.** Many WANT the boat to be their getaway, sanctuary, whatever, that the spouse is not involved with.* But then when they DO want the spouse around, the spouse is supposed to jump in with enthusiasm.* It is no surprise they aren't interested!*

i can't find it now but one of you mentioned that a wife might see it as another place where she is expected to cook and clean.* Do you only bring her along when you need someone to do that?* Matt probably cooks more than I do and we both are constantly finding something to clean so the boat is as clean and presentable as our home.* And it does not have that damp feel to it as soon as walk on board that so many boats do.* YUCK.** I would not want any part of that!*

Anyway, I ramble.

Matt and I took the power squadron class, it was great.*Also we are very involved our yacht club and having boating friends does make it even more fun...
Speaking for myself, yes, I know I am lucky. My heart has always been on or near the water, and my wife understood that right from the start. We were fortunate enough to live on a lake for twenty years, allowing me kayaking and canoeing, as well as the nearby sal****er to kayak. However, she could not find the same passion for kayaking, but was willing to try boating. It all began with a boating safety course, which helped answer a lot of her questions and eliminate a lot of her fears. Next, we chartered for a week. After that, she was into the whole thing as deep as myself. I am a lucky man.

*
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Old 12-16-2010, 03:37 PM   #26
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:
Carey wrote:



SkipperSunnfjord boats in Tacoma, WA built a boat which I believe was featured in one of the first couple years of Passagemaker Magazine. I believe it was about 55 ft., and featured full accessibility, including an elevator to the pilothouse. These guys build a quality commercial grade boat at reasonable prices. A friend of mine has a 46 footer of theirs, which has taken them to Mexico and back over a several year voyage. I wish you could locate and maybe see the one Passagemaker featured, as it would be good background information for you.*

*


I am familiar with the boat of which you speak. It came on the market earlier this year after the owners wife died. It was sold to a fellow in a wheel chair and is currently used as a livaboard in Washington state somewhere.

I talked to the people at Sunnfjords at the time but new construction was a bit more than I could afford.*

I am currently looking for a good hull that I can work with.
Sort of a rebuild if you will. Something with a good motor I can build a new cabin for it.

There is a fellow in Homer Alaska that builds some pretty good ones. Mostly bow pickers and long liners. *He has an older mold from one of the defunct builders. We are negoiating as we speak.

SD



*
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:08 PM   #27
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Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

My wife served in the Navy and although at that time they were not assigning women to ships' crews she had a pretty good exposure to the "water" side of the military. Her father had a small trailer boat he used for fishing in Puget Sound and my wife frequently accompanied him. We started flying floatplanes up the Inside Passage in the mid-80s and between that and what the Navy had taught her about navigation she became very familiar with getting us around the region. She is particularly good with charts and maps.

All this knowledge and experience carried over for both of us when we got our 17' Arima fishing boat. Ditto when we got the Grand Banks. Today she routinely cons the boat. She holds a course more accurately in fog than I do, which is why when we're in fog she takes over the boat. The only thing she is reluctant to do is dock it. She can operate and interpret the GPS plotters and radar. During docking and undocking maneuvers she is in charge of the deck and handles the lines and fenders and, when we have guests aboard who can help out, gives and explains their assignments to them.

When we bought the Arima the first thing we did was take the USCG Auxiliary multi-week boating course at North Seattle Community College. While some of it covered material we already knew, there was a lot of new material ands simply being exposed to all of it was well worth the investment of the time. In this area (at that time) we had heard the USCG Aux course was considerably superior to the USPS course, which is why we chose the USCG Aux course.

Bottom line is that she is as at home on and with the boat as I am.

We have a rule when running either of our boats that I learned from Bob Hale, the publisher of the Waggoner Guide, probably the most popular cruising guide for this area. He explained to me that the rule he and his wife follow is tha whenever they don't agree on a course of action--- which side of an island to pass on, where to anchor, which path to follow through a narrow pass, etc., etc., etc., they stop the boat until they do agree. Given the knowledge and experience my wife has amassed over the years in both float flying and boating, I have found that it is well worth listening to her when she has an opinion on what we ought to be doing. Nine times out of ten, she's right.



-- Edited by Marin on Thursday 16th of December 2010 05:09:05 PM
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:11 PM   #28
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Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Hiya,
** Mr. jleonard.* What? You don't do the cooking cleaning and driving as well?* Some swabby.* Your Admiral*needs*some tips from Mr. ColonyCove's Admiral.
** Mr. Colonycove.* I think your Admiral is INDEED serious about you as well.* Hmmmm...guided around by wooden planking eh?* Sounds familiar somehow.
** When me and the mrs's are out in our launch*it's 180 degrees different.* I do all the*chores and she lies along the starboard side sipping cocktails.* At home, I do all the chores and she*lies along the port side sipping cocktails.* Ah yes, boating sure has a way of turning things around.**I even get to walk the two dogs-Puddles and Poopsie (smart dogs, they named themselves).*
** A small snap of us in the saloon...




** These anecdotes from you all illustrate what good can come from couples working together.* After all,*a marriage/relationship is NOT 50/50 it's 100/100.* Or in my case 200/000.
**

-- Edited by RT Firefly on Thursday 16th of December 2010 05:14:55 PM
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:37 PM   #29
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:
skipperdude wrote:

*
Carey wrote:

*

SkipperSunnfjord boats in Tacoma, WA built a boat which I believe was featured in one of the first couple years of Passagemaker Magazine. I believe it was about 55 ft., and featured full accessibility, including an elevator to the pilothouse. These guys build a quality commercial grade boat at reasonable prices. A friend of mine has a 46 footer of theirs, which has taken them to Mexico and back over a several year voyage. I wish you could locate and maybe see the one Passagemaker featured, as it would be good background information for you.*

*


I am familiar with the boat of which you speak. It came on the market earlier this year after the owners wife died. It was sold to a fellow in a wheel chair and is currently used as a livaboard in Washington state somewhere.

I talked to the people at Sunnfjords at the time but new construction was a bit more than I could afford.*

I am currently looking for a good hull that I can work with.
Sort of a rebuild if you will. Something with a good motor I can build a new cabin for it.

There is a fellow in Homer Alaska that builds some pretty good ones. Mostly bow pickers and long liners. *He has an older mold from one of the defunct builders. We are negoiating as we speak.

SD

Skipper
Quote:
Yes, a new build Sunnfjord would be too much for me as well, yet one of the better buys in new boats.
Quote:
Sounds like you have a good plan. Good luck with negotiations.
Quote:
Carey

*

*
*
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Old 12-16-2010, 05:05 PM   #30
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Skipperdude, I was very much touched by your story, and you devotion to you wife.* I wish you both the best, and hope you find just the right boat to fit your needs.

To bear out what you said about being thankful for what you have, I have some personal experience.* My wife of 44 years who was a great cruising partner passed away.* I am posting a picture of her on our last cruise.* The disease was already taking it toll, but she wanted to keep cruising.* We would stop along the way to find a lab or hospital to do tests and send back to her doctor.* we had cruised thousands of miles over 30 or so years.* Two weeks after this last cruise, she passed away.

The picture is on our last 750 mile cruise from Hilton Head to Boca Grande.* Cumberland Island is in the background.* As you can see, she is doing what we always did------following the paper chart and*keeping a sharp eye out.* Whe we didn't agree on the course, we stopped.* It is one of my most treasured pictures of Anne.* She took both the Aux. course and USPS course as well some advanced classes at USPS.

Yes, be thankful for what you have.* I now have another great cruising partner that came to boating late, but has adaped very fast.* I am thankul for her, too.
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Old 12-16-2010, 09:12 PM   #31
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:
Marin wrote:

My wife served in the Navy and although at that time they were not assigning women to ships' crews she had a pretty good exposure to the "water" side of the military. Her father had a small trailer boat he used for fishing in Puget Sound and my wife frequently accompanied him. We started flying floatplanes up the Inside Passage in the mid-80s and between that and what the Navy had taught her about navigation she became very familiar with getting us around the region. She is particularly good with charts and maps.

All this knowledge and experience carried over for both of us when we got our 17' Arima fishing boat. Ditto when we got the Grand Banks. Today she routinely cons the boat. She holds a course more accurately in fog than I do, which is why when we're in fog she takes over the boat. The only thing she is reluctant to do is dock it. She can operate and interpret the GPS plotters and radar. During docking and undocking maneuvers she is in charge of the deck and handles the lines and fenders and, when we have guests aboard who can help out, gives and explains their assignments to them.

When we bought the Arima the first thing we did was take the USCG Auxiliary multi-week boating course at North Seattle Community College. While some of it covered material we already knew, there was a lot of new material ands simply being exposed to all of it was well worth the investment of the time. In this area (at that time) we had heard the USCG Aux course was considerably superior to the USPS course, which is why we chose the USCG Aux course.

Bottom line is that she is as at home on and with the boat as I am.

We have a rule when running either of our boats that I learned from Bob Hale, the publisher of the Waggoner Guide, probably the most popular cruising guide for this area. He explained to me that the rule he and his wife follow is tha whenever they don't agree on a course of action--- which side of an island to pass on, where to anchor, which path to follow through a narrow pass, etc., etc., etc., they stop the boat until they do agree. Given the knowledge and experience my wife has amassed over the years in both float flying and boating, I have found that it is well worth listening to her when she has an opinion on what we ought to be doing. Nine times out of ten, she's right.

-- Edited by Marin on Thursday 16th of December 2010 05:09:05 PM
MarinMy guess, is that you, like me, find both satisfaction and concern in the fact that they are usually right. Rather disconcerting, don't you think?

*
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Old 12-16-2010, 10:32 PM   #32
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:
Carey wrote:
MarinMy guess, is that you, like me, find both satisfaction and concern in the fact that they are usually right. Rather disconcerting, don't you think?

I used to think that until I realized that if my wife is right then I don't have to be, which saves me all the time, effort, and hassle of being right myself.* I can just kick back and let her be right.
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Old 12-16-2010, 10:34 PM   #33
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Quote:
Marin wrote:

*
Carey wrote:
MarinMy guess, is that you, like me, find both satisfaction and concern in the fact that they are usually right. Rather disconcerting, don't you think?

I used to think that until I realized that if my wife is right then I don't have to be, which saves me all the time, effort, and hassle of being right myself.* I can just kick back and let her be right.
Hmmm...??? You may be onto something mate.*
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Old 12-17-2010, 03:07 AM   #34
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RE: Getting Your Partner to Like Boating

Maybe the above philosophy is partly behind the reason RTF seems happy to accept the following somewhat....on the surface of it.....sort of a one-sided arrangement.....

RTF wrote.... "When me and the mrs's are out in our launch it's 180 degrees different. I do all the chores and she lies along the starboard side sipping cocktails. At home, I do all the chores and she lies along the port side sipping cocktails. Ah yes, boating sure has a way of turning things around.........
These anecdotes from you all illustrate what good can come from couples working together. After all, a marriage/relationship is NOT 50/50 it's 100/100. Or in my case 200/000."
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