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Old 06-08-2016, 03:27 PM   #101
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Wifey B: What's it mean when someone has a bikini hanging on a flag pole?
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Old 06-08-2016, 04:45 PM   #102
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Etiquette can also be for people in circles where hard earned respect follows those lines of customs, courtesies and etiquette....not necessarily for "stuck up" people.

Be present in that group and not follow them could be in bad taste....I am not saying that everyone has to follow them....but they aren't always for everyone and in certain circles, follow them or politely remove yourself...or better yet which many don't get.....dont put yourself in the awkward position of following your beliefs to the disdain of the gathered group.
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Old 06-08-2016, 05:50 PM   #103
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following your beliefs to the disdain of the gathered group.
Wifey B: Disdain of gathered groups doesn't really much bother me. I try to not cause others undue discomfort. Sometimes they need shaking up though.

If it's something like the flag of the country, I'll show them respect. On the other hand if they are bothered by me kissing my hubby in public then tough luck.
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Old 06-08-2016, 06:20 PM   #104
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This probably doesn't come as a great shock that in general I'm not a great fan of etiquette. I don't care how anyone dresses and I'm not big on titles and sure don't want to be called Dr. and just formality.
So when/if you use a knife and fork, do you cut with the knife pinning your food by holding the fork in a straight vertical position, until you have cut all of your food up into manageable pieces, then put the knife down and switch hands with the fork, before proceeding to eat, never touching the knife again?
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Old 06-08-2016, 07:21 PM   #105
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So when/if you use a knife and fork, do you cut with the knife pinning your food by holding the fork in a straight vertical position, until you have cut all of your food up into manageable pieces, then put the knife down and switch hands with the fork, before proceeding to eat, never touching the knife again?
Wifey B: No, my table manners are impeccable. Well, except.....we share food a lot so I'll take some of his and give him some of mine. Eating out we normally order two dishes with each of us to eat half of each.

We don't do five star white linen stuff at home or on the boat. And if someone at our table did as you describe we'd never make them feel uncomfortable. We're very tolerant of stuff like that. How one handles their knife and fork doesn't change in my mind the person they are. I would never put someone down because of how they handled their fork and knife.

Oh, I don't eat spaghetti properly and I don't use chopsticks.

I'm not saying etiquette has no place. I'm just saying don't get carried away with form over substance.
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:10 PM   #106
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I think in this case etiquette equals tradition here, just saying. Doesn't mean you are stuck up. I have the U.S. Flag on the stern, Alaska State flag on the sun deck, Canadian flag on bow and just behind it I have two yacht club burgees.


I'm not stuck up.....really ask other TF members I have met....
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:10 PM   #107
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Bein' from New York City originally, I use for chopsticks as it is considered gauche to use anything else when eating Chinese/Japanese food.
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:19 PM   #108
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I think in this case etiquette equals tradition here, just saying. Doesn't mean you are stuck up. I have the U.S. Flag on the stern, Alaska State flag on the sun deck, Canadian flag on bow and just behind it I have two yacht club burgees.


I'm not stuck up.....really ask other TF members I have met....
Wifey B: I wasn't implying anyone here was stuck up. The second example was an extreme example.

So, if someone else had the US flag where it is, but had the others arranged differently, would you put them down?
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:23 PM   #109
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Bein' from New York City originally, I use for chopsticks as it is considered gauche to use anything else when eating Chinese/Japanese food.
Wifey B: So, how do you look upon someone who asks for silverware instead? That's the test, not whether you follow what you feel to be the etiquette yourself.
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:24 PM   #110
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Is politely correcting "putting down"?

Then if they laugh at you and say stuff your stuffy traditions....then what do you say?
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:30 PM   #111
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Is politely correcting "putting down"?

Then if they laugh at you and say stuff your stuffy traditions....then what do you say?
Wifey B: As to correcting on the flags, I'd say none of your business unless they ask or question.

Now if they laugh at you and tell you to put your traditions where the sun doesn't shine then they're far worse than you. Your intent was good. Theirs wasn't.

And if you laughed at me over refusing to use chopsticks, then I'd not get angry. I'd laugh with you. I'd still stick to my knife and fork though. Now, if I was in Japan at the home of an old school family that might be insulted, I'd do the chopsticks.

Wow I took this way way way way way too far off topic, from flags to chopsticks.
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:41 PM   #112
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Bein' from New York City originally, I use for chopsticks as it is considered gauche to use anything else when eating Chinese/Japanese food.
Eating with sticks is primitive. I've given up for the most part, needing fork and knife to cut up the meal into bite-sized pieces. I don't like to slurp up my food. To be polite, I'll refrain from commenting on table manners of people from chopstick cultures.
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:51 PM   #113
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Is politely correcting "putting down"?

Then if they laugh at you and say stuff your stuffy traditions....then what do you say?
Depends on the context. If we were boating together and I had my burgee in the "wrong" location, I would appreciate a polite correction. I may or may take the advice, but I wouldn't be offended and would take the information in the spirit it was meant.

If, on the other hand, I didn't know you from Adam and you walked across the dock to tell me my burgee was being flown wrong, I would be polite ('cause that is the way my father raised me), but internally I would think you were an ******* whom I never wanted to interact with again.
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Old 06-08-2016, 09:05 PM   #114
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Depends on the context. If we were boating together and I had my burgee in the "wrong" location, I would appreciate a polite correction. I may or may take the advice, but I wouldn't be offended and would take the information in the spirit it was meant.

If, on the other hand, I didn't know you from Adam and you walked across the dock to tell me my burgee was being flown wrong, I would be polite ('cause that is the way my father raised me), but internally I would think you were an ******* whom I never wanted to interact with again.
I am often complimented as an instructor captain for my intertwining customs, courtesies and etiquette while teaching all else boating....so it seems like a topic many serious boaters do take seriously.

I may offend some, but most are grateful I have added something positive in their boating learning curve.
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Old 06-08-2016, 09:14 PM   #115
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I am often complimented as an instructor captain for my intertwining customs, courtesies and etiquette while teaching all else boating....so it seems like a topic many serious boaters do take seriously.

I may offend some, but most are grateful I have added something positive in their boating learning curve.
Wifey B: As an instructor captain, it's quite appropriate.
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Old 06-08-2016, 09:23 PM   #116
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I am often complimented as an instructor captain for my intertwining customs, courtesies and etiquette while teaching all else boating....so it seems like a topic many serious boaters do take seriously.

I may offend some, but most are grateful I have added something positive in their boating learning curve.
I agree with WifeyB. If I hired an instructor Captain I would want any and all boating related information they can offer. Again, it is about context. You as an instructor have a relationship with your clients. It is perfectly appropriate in that situation.
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Old 06-08-2016, 10:44 PM   #117
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Well my vessel is considered a pleasure craft. It is not registered bit licensed. I fly my national flag port side mid ship off the mast. 1- it's a flag 2- I assume other pleasure craft boaters around me don't know where the flag should actually be flown 3- I have nothing astern to fly the flag off.
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Old 06-09-2016, 08:50 PM   #118
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Kyle, I fly the national flag midway up my topping lift when on my sailboat as I too have nothing on the stern to fly from. I think it looks good there. On my trawler I follow the usual rules already mentioned.

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Old 06-09-2016, 11:32 PM   #119
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Quote:
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Bein' from New York City originally, I use for chopsticks as it is considered gauche to use anything else when eating Chinese/Japanese food.
Continuing... once Kidlet, Nana and I went to a late lunch at a Chinese restaurant. There were about eight tables occupied. We were the sole gringos in the place. It was about two in the afternoon.

Kidlet asked for a pair of chopsticks and proceeded to enjoy her pork fried rice.

I looked up and the eldest gentleman in the place had called over the waiter. He requested/received chopsticks. EVERYONE except Nana and I were using chopsticks by the end of our meal.

It was funny/odd how a young white girl could influence an entire restaurant. I could see that elderly gent, and could almost imagine what he was saying. Chopsticks were requested table by table as more diners realized what was happening.

I was proud of my baby girl. She was eight or ten at the time -- just a little lady. When we studied Asia I had bought both her and Son a pair of chopsticks to learn/use.

As for flags I fly the US one from the flag pole on the transom. It looks spiffy. And though I don't judge you (collectively) for not having an American flag showing, I will say I notice the boats that do display one. I prefer boats to show their colors.

Such is life on the waterfront.
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Old 06-09-2016, 11:52 PM   #120
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Smooth wooden, blunt chopsticks placing food in your mouth or a cold, steel utensil with points on the end? Just thinking about it. Which is primitive?
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