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Old 01-29-2013, 06:03 AM   #21
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This past weekend a dock neighbor's wife climbed to the top of their mast to pull cable without wearing a safety harness. I said nothing as her husband described her as the 'risk taker.' Really!!! It isn't in my DNA to not say something, even if it's in the way of a joke to alert the senses. Yes, she came down the mast without incident, but this only reinforces that her unsafe behavior is proper for the task. Had she slipped and knocked some flesh off her shins it may have served as a wake up that prevents a fall to her death in the future. I said nothing either, but should have.
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Old 01-29-2013, 06:25 AM   #22
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hendo,how about fork offee.
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Old 01-29-2013, 06:36 AM   #23
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Different perspectives. You did say she was holding on to the transom and so, apparently, was aware of the potential for a fall. It seems like she was taking adequate precautions from her perspective. Did it look like they were practised and knew what they were doing or were they unsure about it?

Some people go out on the large ocean in small boats... isn't that dangerous, at least to some?
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Old 01-29-2013, 07:06 AM   #24
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hendo,how about fork offee.
Oh. Yeah get told that every now and then. My sleeve tatts tend to minimise that kind of response.
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Old 01-29-2013, 07:27 AM   #25
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In my experience, people don't like being corrected by total strangers. My marina is also a drystack marina so there are many very inexperienced boaters in the slips on weekends and holidays. I will often help them dock their boats if the dockhands aren't around. I try to help by saying things like "It would be better if you got your docklines and fenders in place before you come into the marina." but they usually just give e a dumb look or an even dumber response.

But who is to say that "my" way is the right way anyway? I have no badge or stripes on my sleeve.

I may say something to them if I'm helping them (as above), but I wouldn't walk down the dock and start criticizing another boater's way of doing something.
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:48 AM   #26
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Not boring you are we Hendo?
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Old 01-29-2013, 09:01 AM   #27
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Not boring you are we Hendo?
Nah mate. All gooood ere mate

So what's the verdict? Would you say somethin or just let it be?
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Old 01-29-2013, 09:33 AM   #28
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In this particular case, I would not say anything unless I could see a definite way to improve upon the way they are doing things. Other than that it is just a matter of being careful. But in the case of the lady up the mast, I would have said something. It is just too easy to send her up with a safety tether that could save her life. Or maybe the husband was up to something....;-/
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Old 01-29-2013, 09:45 AM   #29
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Must be a slow news day. Coming up on 30 posts and the whole issue should have stopped at post #2 with a succinct MYOB. If there were kids involved I could understand the urge to butt in but in this situation ........ while you're butting in anyway, why not explain the deficiencies in their anchoring gear or maybe you could explain to them why twins are inherently less reliable.

MYOB folks.
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Old 01-29-2013, 09:52 AM   #30
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My wife has a saying, "you can't fix stupid". She should know she has tried for years.

Bottom line for me is if a persons operation of a boat will effect me directly in some way I will speak up. Other wise I think of what my wife says and sit back and enjoy the show.
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Old 01-29-2013, 10:19 AM   #31
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I mentioned to the father "there are some big gators down there"( and there are) no reply
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Old 01-29-2013, 11:21 AM   #32
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In this particular case, I would not say anything unless I could see a definite way to improve upon the way they are doing things. Other than that it is just a matter of being careful. But in the case of the lady up the mast, I would have said something. It is just too easy to send her up with a safety tether that could save her life. Or maybe the husband was up to something....;-/
The guy may know exactly what he is doing!
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Old 01-29-2013, 12:39 PM   #33
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Do you do anything when you see a family go by in their outboard, a couple little kids sitting on the bow with their legs dangling over the side. No pfd's in sight.
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Old 01-29-2013, 01:15 PM   #34
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Other than saying to myself or whoever I'm with, "There's an accident waiting to happen," no. For one thing there's no way we're going to catch them to tell them anything. For another, I believe it's illegal in this state to have kids below a certain age on a boat without PFDs so if they come within sight of a city police boat, sherrif's boat, or a USCG boat they will very likely be stopped. (Not sure the USCG gets involved in state law enforcement, though.)

I'm not a big fan of a nanny state mentality, so I tend to take the view that people pretty much deserve what their actions get them. If the parents think it's just fine for their kids to ride the bow of their boat and do so without PFDs that's their parenting decision and that family is responsible for and will have to live with the consequences be they good or bad.

My telling them they're making a mistake is not going to change their minds about what they're doing, particularly in this situation. It's not like someone isn't aware of some clever docking technique that you can point out and explain. There is all sorts of in-your-face information and warnings about proper PFD use. Our marina has this stuff posted all over the place and even has a kid's PFD loaner program. If parents choose to ignore all this common sense information, posted warnings, etc. I can only conclude they are doing so deliberately.

And I don't view it as my responsibility to tell them how to run their family. Whether I think what they are doing is right or wrong, responsible or irresponsible, smart or stupid, it's not my family to run. It's theirs.

In my opinion Bob summed it up best a few posts ago with his MYOB statement. That has been my attitude toward others my whole life and I see no reason to change.
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Old 01-29-2013, 01:24 PM   #35
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Everything that happens on or around the boat is the captain's responsibility. Not yours.

It's really never a good idea to challenge a skipper's boat handling, docking, manhood, ect... while underway.

Perhaps at a bar, late at night, after way too many, you could tell him a scary story and let him make the connection himself.
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Old 01-29-2013, 01:37 PM   #36
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I am a nosey neighbor. I find these deals too be a realy tough call for me. I do not know what the stats actualy would show but most of the time nothing bad actualy happens.

Yet for some reason I seem to be running or jumping into the fire when stuff goes sideways, way too often. Its that nosey neighbor thing.

Say nothing and be prepared to deal with a bad outcome? I will say something from time to time in hopes it leaves them with a thought or two to mull over. When I feel I should. Some folk are fine with suggestions some not at all. But I do care so the effort is for me. I realy have nothing to loose in doing so.

Respect is hard to earn yet very easy to loose.

Tough call.
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Old 01-29-2013, 02:18 PM   #37
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Each to their own, I guess.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with offering a little neighborly caution to someone taking a serious risk they may not be aware of. I certainly don't see it driving us all to a "nanny state" and would consider it a favor if someone pointed out risky behavior to me. In fact, if unsolicited advice is a bad thing, why are we all reading the TF?

Finally, I've received the one-fingered salute for saying "good morning" before, so I don't think that particular reaction would bother me too much.
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Old 01-29-2013, 02:54 PM   #38
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Call me a hard ass but Sh1t happens.

Unless I see somebody doing something really stupid. like a kid playing with fire. I Mind my own business.

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Old 01-29-2013, 03:26 PM   #39
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be careful

Interesting thread ... The message to me is go slow and think ahead for any possible danger ... If identified speak up in a tactful way ..... wives seem to like that approach ............ if you care!! jp
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Old 01-29-2013, 03:30 PM   #40
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In fact, if unsolicited advice is a bad thing, why are we all reading the TF?

.
Valid question. Speaking strictly for myself, I view general-topic amateur forums like this one as purely entertainment.

The few times I've asked for advice or opinions on a piece of equipment or whatever the responses were so all over the map and conflicting that they were of minimal value and I ended up seeking out the information elsewhere.

And I would hope that whenever I have offered "advice" about some aspect of boating that people who read it are smart enough to verify it with a credible resource of their own, be it their diesel shop, a local shipwright, someone actually in the marine electronics business, an experienced boater they know personally, etc.

But it is entertaining as this thread has shown. As usual, the opinions are all over the map and in the end, everybody will continue to do exactly what they've been doing all along.

Some people feel it's their duty to stick their noses in other people's business and like nothing more to have an opportunity to tell someone else what they're doing wrong and how they should be doing it instead. We encounter people like this occasionally who come over and start telling us what we should or should not be doing. Most of the time we ignore them but on a few occasions the person has gotten really aggressive with their "do this" commands so I (my wife is way too polite to do this) simply tell them to piss off.

And there are people like myself who feel that people are totally responsible for themselves and will get what they deserve from their actions and it is not my responsibility to "correct" them. So while I may observe a boater doing something I think may not be too wise I leave it to them to sort out. (Coming to the aid of someone actually in trouble is a different deal altogether.)

And the people in both camps are not going to change as a result of an Internet discussion as entertaining and as interesting as it might be.
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