Am I the only one who talks to his boat?

[Fotoman]

Just wondering.

 

[Tom.B]

I don't talk to the boat, per se, but I do talk to Dr. Perky (our engine) quite a little bit. Does that count?

 

[Peter B]

No, you are not.. The phrases my boat hears the most I suspect is "why does nothing turn out to be simple?" Next would be "why, oh why, is everything always so hard...?" That and a few other unrepeatable choice words I won't repeat here because they would all end up as *******es. But when we are out there, and she's bashing through some massive waves, I occasionally give her..."Gooooo, you good thing...." It balances out, see....

 

[Fotoman]

Dr. perky, that's a good one!

 

[Portuguese]

Mine is still being built and.....

Not only I talk to her as I already kissed her a bunch of times. Maybe it is because I am seeing her growing. It is like an old parent watching his granddaughter growing from baby to woman.
It is a very interesting and curious relationship.

 

[Forkliftt]

My efforts go to the "Twins". Letting the know pretty and special they are. How I can count on them when things get rough!

 

[alormaria]

I do a lot of talking on my boat but the vocabulary is rather short and redundant. Two rules though: No cursing the boat or anyone on her. Wind, Waves, pilings, other boats are all fair game.

 

[Tom.B]

Mine is still being built and.....

Not only I talk to her as I already kissed her a bunch of times. Maybe it is because I am seeing her growing. It is like an old parent watching his granddaughter growing from baby to woman.
It is a very interesting and curious relationship.

Fernado, It's no secret to any of us that you have actually "slept with" Rainha by now.

 

[Phil Fill]

Fernado, It's no secret to any of us that you have actually "slept with" Rainha by now.

I don’t talk to the Eagle. However I do thank God, most nights that the Eagle does not have a roof and/or bilge leek, is dry/warm, AC electricity, hot/cold running water, refrigerator/freezer for ICE CREAM.

So since I sleep with her, that might be consider worse than talking to her.

 

[Portuguese]

Gonzo, you know what?

That's a perfect match between both Rainhas. There are no jealousy at all...It feels great. By the way, I don’t know who loves the new Rainha the most, the old Rainha or me…

 

[O C Diver]

I don't talk to my boat per say. But there was that one time as the Gordon Lightfoot Song goes," When the wind in the wires made a tattle tale sound as the waves broke over the railing". Might have done some begging and promised a few things like a new paint job......

Ted

 

[Marin]

Just wondering.

Obviously not as evidenced by previous posts. But I don't. I don't talk to the plane I fly, either. They are both just machines. They work or they don't work, and if the don't work they get fixed.

Here's a simple test you can do to determine just how your boat regards you. Cut out a one-foot square piece of fiberglass matte. Set it in the exact middle of your dining room table. Halfway between the matte and the left end of the table set a pair of obstacles-- salt and pepper shakers or whatever--- exactly a foot and a half apart and in line with the matte and the end of the table. Then sit down in front of the glass matte.

Ask the piece of glass matte for advice on any subject you need advice on. Write down what it says. Then ask the glass matte to move from the middle of the table to the left end of the table making two 90-degree course adjustments on the way to navigate directly between the two obstacles. Note how quickly and accurately the piece of glass matte does this.

You now know the impact your talking to the boat has on it.

NOTE--- Owners of wood, aluminum, or steel boats should use a one-foot square piece of that material instead of the glass matte.

Lest I appear to be a totally heartless bastard I will say that while I don't talk to collections of fiberglass, wood, metal, glass and fabric, nor do I regard them as anything but the inanimate objects that they are, we do regard seeing harbor porpoises during a cruise a sign that the cruise will go well. We like to think the porpoises are important people in our lives since passed who have swung by to check up on us and make sure we're okay.

We arrived at this on our own, but it was interesting to see an explanation of why we feel this way in the last book of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which is titled "Goodbye, And Thanks for all the Fish."

 

[O C Diver]

Obviously not as evidenced by previous posts. But I don't. I don't talk to the plane I fly, either. They are both just machines. They work or they don't work, and if the don't work they get fixed.

Here's a simple test you can do to determine just how your boat regards you. Cut out a one-foot square piece of fiberglass matte. Set it in the exact middle of your dining room table. Halfway between the matte and the left end of the table set a pair of obstacles-- salt and pepper shakers or whatever--- exactly a foot and a half apart and in line with the matte and the end of the table. Then sit down in front of the glass matte.

Ask the piece of glass matte for advice on any subject you need advice on. Write down what it says. Then ask the glass matte to move from the middle of the table to the left end of the table making two 90-degree course adjustments on the way to navigate directly between the two obstacles. Note how quickly and accurately the piece of glass matte does this.

You now know the impact your talking to the boat has on it.

Is it safe to assume you don't believe in God as the same test used to test for a response will likely yeild the same result.

IMO, your boat just ignores you since you aren't a true believer.

Ted

 

[Marin]

Is it safe to assume you don't believe in God as the same test used to test for a response will likely yeild the same result.

I believe there is an overall power, intelligence, God, Allah, whatever name you want to hang on it. I don't believe there is a guy sitting up in heaven, nor do I believe there is some sort of "judgmenent day," nor do I believe there is a hell.

But a boat is just a collection of parts. Nothing intelligent or feeling about it. Just parts that ideally all work together to move you across the water. Treating it or any other machine as some sort of Disneyesque character is silly to my way of thinking. There's a term for it--- anthropomorphize: to attribute human traits to something that's inanimate or not human.

If it makes you feel good to thank your boat for a nice cruise or coax it along verbally if it's misbehaving is fine and if this makes you feel good or more confident or get more out of the boating experience, fine. But the boat itself's not gonna care what you say to it. It's like naming a boat. Names are for the people using or owning the boat. It means something to them, The boat itself is not going to be affected by whatever letters you paint or stick on the hull.

 

[swampu]

At the stage I am at I do a lot of talking........

 

[markpierce]

I have conversations with myself. Does that count? ("Self, ....")

 

[Bugmon]

You can ' animate ' any item that you want to and enjoy that as long as you wish , as long as you have a good imagination.

There is nothing wrong with that

 

[Egregious]

Ahh, my boat may not posess intelligence, but it does have personality. I don't talk to it, but I believe she knows I love her. And she loves me.

 

[Edelweiss]

I don't talk to the whole boat so much, but I have a favorite engine and one less than favorite engine, who I speak to on a regular basis. The port engine is "sweetheart" or "baby" and the starboard I call simply "You Pos!"

Baby never fails, starts anytime you turn the key, doesn't leak fluids, never needs her valves adjusted, purr's like a kitten and always brings me home.

POS is hard starting, developes seeping oil leaks which come and go, needs a valve adjustment twice a year, will start to surge with the slightest obstruction in it's fuel filters, sucks junk into the strainers and gets cranky at the worst times.

Their serial numbers are 3 numbers apart, so I think must be a case of the bad child!! At one point I contemplated bring a priest down and having an exorcism!!
LB

 

[healhustler]

Yeah...I talk to my boat whenever that flood of gratification comes over me. I also have been known to hang onto the branch of a tree when I'm enjoying its fruit.....just in case it can feel my pleasure.

 

[Egregious]

I don't talk to the whole boat so much, but I have a favorite engine and one less than favorite engine, who I speak to on a regular basis. The port engine is "sweetheart" or "baby" and the starboard I call simply "You Pos!"

Baby never fails, starts anytime you turn the key, doesn't leak fluids, never needs her valves adjusted, purr's like a kitten and always brings me home.

POS is hard starting, developes seeping oil leaks which come and go, needs a valve adjustment twice a year, will start to surge with the slightest obstruction in it's fuel filters, sucks junk into the strainers and gets cranky at the worst times.

Their serial numbers are 3 numbers apart, so I think must be a case of the bad child!! At one point I contemplated bring a priest down and having an exorcism!!
LB

That is funny! I call it the "cursed Port engine"

 

[sunchaser]

Dear Ann:

The other day my boat asked me a question about my infidelity - we were looking at other boats. As I stammered out my reply about more bling, bigger tanks and a longer waterline I quickly realized I had been caught with my pants down. What should I do to bring peace to the family?

 

[Marin]

That is funny! I call it the "cursed Port engine"

True thing--- The then-proprietor of the very experienced diesel shop we use in Bellingham told me years ago that their records over many years of being in business show that in the twin engine boats they work on--- and it's a lot--- the port engines suffer more problems more frequently than the starboard engines. He had no explanation for this, only the numbers to show it's true.

 

[Marin]

....I quickly realized I had been caught with my pants down. What should I do to bring peace to the family?

For starters pull your pants back up. That's a sight picture none of us need.

Then, since you apparently believe this "talk to your boat" stuff, tell your boat that if it doesn't shut the hell up and stop whining you're not only going to buy a different boat but you're going to donate your boat to one of those "donate your car/boat to charity" organizations where it will either be parted out and scrapped or sold for a dime on the dollar to some stoner who will convert it into a meth lab.

 

[Egregious]

True thing--- The then-proprietor of the very experienced diesel shop we use in Bellingham told me years ago that their records over many years of being in business show that in the twin engine boats they work on--- and it's a lot--- the port engines suffer more problems more frequently than the starboard engines. He had no explanation for this, only the numbers to show it's true.

I have an explanation:
the water pump, and other hard to get at stuff on the port engine is hard to get at. So they don't get serviced and they fail. Rebuilding the Port vs. Starboard side injection pumps would be less than 1/2 the price since the port side is so hard to get to.

 

[Fotoman]

I also have been known to hang onto the branch of a tree when I'm enjoying its fruit.....just in case it can feel my pleasure.

Nice.

 

[Marin]

On our boat with its twin Lehmans it's the port engine that is way easy to service--- raw water pump, fuel pump, oil cooler, hoses, injection pump, etc. are all on the inboard side. There's really nothing on the outboard side of the engine that needs any attention.

Of course the opposite is true of the starboard engine where everyhing that might need servicing is on the outboard side of the engine.

 

[BruceK]

markpierce:I have conversations with myself. Does that count? "

Only sure way to an intelligent discussion. BruceK

 

[Art]

I talk to anything I own! Not always in good ways... but sometimes. I listen to them (occasionally) too. None of these encounters really make a sweet bit of real difference... but in my behalf, I can let some steam off when necessary. The objects just keep on smiling no matter what they or I might say to each other. Talk with lifeless objects is good! Yeah Right!

BTW – Boats do have a soul – Yours!

 

[psneeld]

Marin...recognize these words from the syn oil thread???

"One of the girls in the executive lounge of the hotel we stayed in in Xiamen, China gave me a little wooden Buddha and I rub its tummy every day before going to work. Don't know if it makes any actual difference but it makes me feel like I'm being pro-active in how my day goes. So perhaps one of these little guys will help you believe your engine cranking is doing some good. Never underestimate the power of superstition......"


By golly I think they are yours!!!!