[FONT="]'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... [/FONT]
[FONT="]How to live in a world that's politically correct?[/FONT]
[FONT="] His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", [/FONT]
[FONT="]"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.[/FONT]
[FONT="]And labor conditions at the North Pole [/FONT]
[FONT="]were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, [/FONT]
[FONT="]released to the wilds by the Humane Society.[/FONT]
[FONT="]And equal employment had made it quite clear [/FONT]
[FONT="]that Santa had better not use just reindeer. [/FONT]
[FONT="]So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, [/FONT]
[FONT="]were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid![/FONT]
[FONT="]The runners had been removed from his sleigh;[/FONT]
[FONT="] the ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. [/FONT]
[FONT="]and people had started to call for the cops[/FONT]
[FONT="] when they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. [/FONT]
[FONT="]His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."[/FONT]
[FONT="]And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, [/FONT]
[FONT="]Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose[/FONT]
[FONT="] and had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, [/FONT]
[FONT="]demanding millions in over-due compensation.[/FONT]
[FONT="]So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, [/FONT]
[FONT="]who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, [/FONT]
[FONT="]joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, [/FONT]
[FONT="]Demanding from now on her title was Ms.[/FONT]
[FONT="]And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion [/FONT]
[FONT="]that making a choice could cause so much commotion. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, [/FONT]
[FONT="]which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing that might be construed to pollute. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. [/FONT]
[FONT="]No candy or sweets... they were bad for the tooth. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. [/FONT]
[FONT="]And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, [/FONT]
[FONT="]were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. [/FONT]
[FONT="]For they raised the hackles of those psychological [/FONT]
[FONT="]who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.[/FONT]
[FONT="]No baseball, no football... someone could get hurt; [/FONT]
[FONT="]besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; [/FONT]
[FONT="]and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.[/FONT]
[FONT="]So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;[/FONT]
[FONT="] he just could not figure out what to do next. [/FONT]
[FONT="]He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,[/FONT]
[FONT="] but you've got to be careful with that word today.[/FONT]
[FONT="]His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;[/FONT]
[FONT="]nothing fully acceptable was to be found. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Something special was needed, a gift that he might [/FONT]
[FONT="]give to all without angering the left or the right.[/FONT]
[FONT="]A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, [/FONT]
[FONT="]each group of people, every religion;[/FONT]
[FONT="]every ethnicity, every hue, [/FONT]
[FONT="]everyone, everywhere... even you.[/FONT]
[FONT="]So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... [/FONT]
[FONT="]"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]Peggie
Wishing all of you everywhere the very best in this joyous season and in the coming year![FONT="] [/FONT]
